You know how they say you find love when you’re least looking? Here are some other things you find when you’re least looking:
movie stubs
lint
that you drove 20 minutes in the wrong direction
weird body hair
normal body hair
but who can really say what’s normal, you know?
a crumbly piece of paper you left in your jeans and put in the wash
that you ate a lot of grapes
pennies (note: not from heaven)
that thing you were looking for but don’t need anymore
pen caps
Man what a pain in the heinie this one was! The audio and visual weren’t synced correctly for some reason and then I tried to fix it and it got worse. You probably think I’m talking about the way the video was recorded but I mean my own audio and visual weren’t synced. I was moving my lips too fast for my brain. Or maybe the words were coming too fast for my face to catch up? I forget which one is ahead of the other which is part of why trying to correct the problem was a real bugaboo. Just got back from Dustin’s housewarming. Safe to say the house is officially toasty. And Dustin’s letting me borrow his bike! Isn’t that super nice? I think it’s super nice. Especially since I was kind of a jerk back in the segment where I wondered if I was a jerk.
You guys, I kind of suck. I didn’t do a Daily Alison today because I’m on deadline working on a story and haven’t really slept in two days. As such you can imagine my skin is glowing and I’m a vision in sweatpants. I wasn’t going to point out that I hadn’t done an episode today, in fact I was hoping you wouldn’t notice, but then I went and shot off my mouth. Goddamnit, me! So now I’m just waiting for some news to break so I can figure out which way to go. The options?
1. To sleep
2. Not to sleep
3. Somewhere else
4. On a journey of discovery
5. On a day trip
6. Go-Karting
7. This could really be funnier
8. I’m sleepy
9. Go-Karting
10. Shit I already said that.
11. Huh?
Oh and also today I was… um… okay I lost interest in telling that story in the middle of the story. Let’s hope tomorrow is funnier and more awesome. I should probably unpack one of these days, huh? I should have put that on the list!
| Michael & Michael Have Issues | Premieres Wed, July 15, 10:30pm / 9:30c | |||
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I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to pull off an episode today but look, I did! Just barely!
Also, there are some photos of me on a boat with a bike which are on a friend’s phone and I’m waiting for him to send them to me because the fact that I did that is beginning to get surreal and urban legendesque.
Also, on the plane I watched Locked Up Abroad: Barbados. Have you seen this? It was so engrossing I could barely change the channel to watch Michael and Michael Have Issues!
So about that communication thing you humans are always recommending? I tried it today. I don’t see what the fuss is about. See, in relationshippy things I’m of the mind that if you have to ask you probably already know and so why put either party through the discomfort of the unpleasant conversation. And yet because it’s just a probability and not a certainty, it’s not that uncommon for me to spend weeks on the tail end of something unsure whether it’s over or not. I get stuck in the relationship’s muffin top! But instead of saying anything like, “Hey, I couldn’t help but notice we haven’t gone out in four weeks, that means this is over even though you’re still emailing and texting me, right?” I opt to play it cool and give the guy his space and then one day I’ll find out he has a new girlfriend and I’ll realize that yes, I was right and it was over between us. And the fact that I even care will be a surprise to him because if I cared why didn’t I say something? So you see where I’m coming from in that you probably have no idea where I’m coming from.
But today the uncertainty of a certain situation which is not along the lines of the above as it’s not even a relationship but just a friendship that was beginning to metastasize into a full blown confusion blossom (sorry for the mixed metaphor) got the better of me and so I screwed up my courage and balled my hands into little fists and put on 80 SPF sunscreen because it’s just good thinking and belched out a confession of feelings to see whether I was alone in feeling them. Um, turns out I was! And am! “Well, I’m glad I know now,” I said, looking for the nearest pothole to fall into.
I’m still down there, by the way. I’m writing this blog post from the pothole. It has wifi and everything! Maybe I’ll do an episode of The Daily Alison from this pothole tomorrow.
I’m OK though, other than my general sense that the entire world should adore me and the cognitive dissonance that results from running into people who are unaware of this edict. I mean, seriously, how can someone not be totally taken with me and intoxicated with every last thing about me? It’s all so perplexing!
Know what time it is? It’s 7:42pm in California. Know what else? Time for another bunch of photos! Hooray!
Here is the Goldenrod Footbridge in Corona del Mar. I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged about it before. It’s my favorite footbridge and it doesn’t even smell like feet.
Here’s the beach.
More beach.
Stupid beautiful water and bullshit boats.
Another picture of the beach if you’re into that kind of thing.
Oh wait, this is a bundt cake that I baked for Yami’s housewarming party last night. Here are some photos of the time I made it (sans nuts) for my sister’s party.
And then here’s Yami and me at her party.
And here’s a description of Schindler’s List which I thought was funny.
