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Last night was our first official live streaming show. David Alan Grier was the guest and it was super fun and he didn’t make me cry. If you missed it you can go here and catch it. I’m not sure how long last night’s show will be available for a free viewing (maybe forever?) but it’s there now. And here’s the show’s Ustream page.  And while you’re at Ustream, there’s a little video of me from ARIYNBF on the front page talking about hearing the word no.

And I’m overdue for posting some recent episodes. Here’s last night’s. And then here’s Monday’s episode with Marc Maron.

And here’s the episode with Jim Jefferies.

And here’s the episode with Jon Lajoie.

I’ve been receiving a lot of very nice comments and tweets and emails and things so thank you so much for all of them! I’d be a liar if I didn’t say the occasional negative comment sticks in my head though. I’m working on getting a thicker skin.

I’m also working on not being a stress sponge. Have I mentioned this? I know I have actually. This has nothing to do with the show and everything to do with my personal life. I’m just going to shoe horn it into this post. See, here is the problem: I soak up the tension and emotions of the people around me and before I can even realize what’s happening I’ll be trying to nap on the couch and people will be arguing near me and they will feel fine because the argument was essentially just loud talking for them but I’ll feel like someone held my arms while another person punched me. I don’t know how to disengage exactly other than to become a loner and to control my environment to the degree that no one gets in.

Only tangentially related I kept wanting to tweet something yesterday about getting to the point where you have so many calls to return that it becomes easier to just get new friends. But then I realized there’s pretty much no way that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole. (And plus, I like my friends!) I was just commenting on the overwhelming feeling of having let communication pile up. Or lack of communication. Oh Oh Oh! And then something happened which made me pissed. Shall I let it all hang out? I shall. This guy whom I barely know texted me while I was doing the show Sunday night and then Monday morning texted me again and wrote, “Oh, okay…” as if in response to my not getting back to him when the truth is that I just hadn’t had a chance to get back to him. Was I ever going to though? I don’t know.

This is why I’m single. I mean not specifically, but just general inability to deal with others.

Now I kind of wish I’d said nothing.

Awkward…

Hi!

This post needs a brain palate cleanser:

Also, how great was it last night when Adam wanted to talk about Facts of Life??

Since this discussion on the show I look at crows and wonder why they’re just sitting there.

You’re watching Pearls and Nuggets of Adam Carolla’s Show – 01/31. 

Gather ye rosebuds, grapes!

Remember when we were talking about the boysenberry on the Adam Carolla Show and we discussed it being a cross between the raspberry, the loganberry and the blackberry and then I asked the tough question: “How do they even get the berries to have sex?” Clearly I’m some kind of genius.

Some would say I’m not in this photo

Some compelling behind-the-scenes scuttlebutt about what happens before the show? Larry Miller and I discussed sectional couches. Apparently he’s not really a sectional couch man. The conversation threatened to send me into couch hell but I held fast and gave him no indication of the couch neurosis I harbor within. And then on air I aired a couple of my grievances with one Adam Carolla. These are:

1) he decreed that I would never like a car guy

2) he didn’t bring me to the Dr. Drew interview

And then later Seth Macfarlane joined the show and I think I might love him in the same way I love Dr. Drew. I’m so slutty with my love.

Also, I’m looking for a news tagline along the lines of, “I’m Alison Rosen, and that’s your news,” or something. As you’ll hear, I brought this up on the show and Adam suggested one so I used it. But if you guys tweet me suggestions I’ll use a different one every night until we find one that sticks.

Also, also? A clip from the show will be on AOL every night! How exciting is that? It’s exciting. In the first one I don’t say much but wow, my nose is sure featured. And if you enjoy seeing the show this way, streaming video is going to be made available starting Jan 31 (for a subscription fee). What my family doesn’t know is I’m going to force them to watch every show and offer a running critique in real time. (Of Adam and Bryan. I’m perfect.)

In other news, and I should probably break this little section out because it’s kind of off topic, occasionally you have a thought so cliche you can barely stand thinking it. So lately things with the family health situation which some of you know about and some of you don’t have been a little extra stressful/poignant and I’m unfortunately kind of like a stress sponge when really I should be a stress sand dollar or stress mollusk or something a little less permeable and anyway I actually found myself thinking the other day that I wish the podcast never ended. I wish it was a 24 hour podcast because when I’m in that world it’s a fairly defined role and the rewards are great and I enjoy it versus real life which is all messy and confusing. The end.

Have I mentioned I now end uncomfortable thoughts with The End?

The End.

Also I never add the accent to the word cliche. How cliche.

The End.

When is the appropriate time to purchase pygmy marmosets? I’ve been waiting for over thirty years.

Alright so I just Adam Carolla’d up my web site. Too much? I don’t want to be that asshole who’s running around saying, “LOOK AT ME, I’M ON THE ADAM CAROLLA SHOW!” however I received an email saying, “You should update your website,” and it was followed by a smiley. It looked like this: “You should update your website :)” and I’d be remiss if I just ignored it, smileyface and all.

In other news I think I just swallowed a bug. It was in my coffee. It may have just been some other type of non-insect clump. I really hope so.

with Anderson and Bald Bryan on The Film Vault

Also, I was on The Film vault and we talked chick flicks.

Also, did you hear the episodes of the ACS podcast I was on with Joel Stein and Patton Oswalt?

Also, just wanted to say also one more time.

But also last night I went to a party for the ACE network and I came home feeling so happy and lucky to be a part of this thing.

I brought Dustin, my friend who’s just a friend but whom no one thinks is just a friend. “Are you a car guy?” asked Adam. Dustin choked out some kind of star struck answer (sorry Dustin) involving the words “no” and “Sentra.” Then Adam said in a matter-of-fact tone, “Yeah, Alison wouldn’t like a car guy.” I don’t know what this means but I resent it highly and now I’m going to have to date ALL the car guys.

I covet the sombrero.

Last night’s Adam Carolla show was really fun even if the above thing kind of scares me owing to bozophobia (fear of clowns) which I’ve discussed on this blog but which is actually anthropofauxphobia, or fear of fake people which is another entirely made-up umbrella term which includes fear of dolls and mannequins and masks and whatnot.

It’s actually lessened in my old age and once I spent the night at a friend’s mom’s house in her doll room and didn’t even scream!

So I don’t want to give away too much of my own internal stuff especially since I know all about the “more mystery less history” credo but I will say that the Jan 5 show felt much better for me than the Jan 4 show because I think I was holding a lot of dos and donts in my head and just overthinking everything. Not to mention just getting warmed up and comfortable and finding my place. It occurs to me that if I don’t get the gig after writing this I will probably look like a giant asswipe for parsing it in this manner. And for using the word parse.

Anyway, last night felt effortless and was so much fun and the time zipped by.

Owing to all the fonduzzi and masturbation talk, there wasn’t much time to get to all the news. Also because I couldn’t shut up about rock tumblers and geodes.

Collecting dust for the past 25 or so years. I plan to use it any day now.

But we did discuss Snooki’s Hemingwayesque prose and Alec Baldwin’s potential political run. I also briefly touched on this iPhone alarm problem and Bald Bryan tried to be a one-upper by mentioning this. Good thing I ferociously called  him on it.

And Adam asked me if I would hook up with The Bieber but I thought he said The Beaver. Yes on both counts.

Rumored to be hooking up with Selena Gomez

Go here to listen and read more.