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Dirty Diet Coke, Bonus Fruits and Mormon Funeral Potatoes

I included Dirty Diet Coke in this episode title because ever since Jenna talked about it on the show, I can’t stop thinking about it. I am to Dirty Diet Coke as Greg Heller is to Mormon Funeral Potatoes. Also, I’ve decided to write these show descriptions in a different way. What do you think? Lemme know. I can easily go back to taking myself out of the description however let’s be real, I am writing these words. Anyhoozles, Jenna and Al and Greg were back on this episode and joined Jeff, Daniel and me for a chat about almost getting run over by a bike on the sidewalk (while I was texting), tap dancing, Adoption vs. IVF and people being kinda dickish online, Greg’s fishing and surfing trip, bathroom habits, peach air freshener, the extendo version of The Fruit Song, Greg’s dream about Anderson Cooper, shaking hands with the unemployed (i.e. masturbation), Pretty Little Liars, Gilmore Girls and more. Plus we did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

Download the episode from iTunes.

OH HEY GET A T-SHIRT, WON’T YOU?

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY and #AL QUIZ ringtones/singles now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Harry.com (use coupon code ALISON). And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

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Weird Kissing, New Phones, Pee Bottles

On this episode Alison and the  Thursday gang (Jenna Kim JonesAllan MossDaniel Quantz, Greg Heller and Jeff Fox) discuss who’s been to a strip club, Jenna’s baby punching Allan, pee bottles, baby farts, adults who “go to the potty,” learning about sex, Greg’s former stand up career, Book of Mormon, having rocks thrown at you while you’re a missionary, couples that fights, couples that kiss in weird annoying ways, Bogle and so much more.  Plus we did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

 

Download the episode from iTunes.

OH HEY GET A T-SHIRT, WON’T YOU?

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY and #AL QUIZ ringtones/singles now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!), Naturebox,  Club W and Credit Karma (text ALISON to 89800 to download free app.) And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

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Sports Trolls and Moose Tracks

On this episode Alison and the  Thursday gang (Jenna Kim JonesAllan MossDaniel Quantz, Greg Heller and Jeff Fox) discuss Jenna’s recent hospital excursion, Greg’s tooth story, Alison’s profound state of non-pregnancy, Greg’s stint as a DJ, ice skating, moms on the podcast and mom texts, dads who’ve become sports trolls, extreme moose tracks ice cream, pumpkin spice, psychotic breaks, baby farts, babies, an email from a listener who had a bad experience eating THC gummy bears and so much more.  Plus we did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

Download the episode from iTunes.

OH HEY GET A T-SHIRT, WON’T YOU?

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY and #AL QUIZ ringtones/singles now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Club WAnd shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

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The Dustin Quiz… Plus Controversial Cat Chat!

How well do Alison and the Thursday gang (Jenna Kim JonesAllan MossGreg HellerDaniel Quantz and Jeff Fox) know Dustin Goot? Find out in this episode. Plus wedding vendor vendettas, an intense and heated discussion of how Jeff and Greg feel about everyone else’s feelings about cats, hot cereal talk, urinal chatter and more.  Plus we did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

Download the episode from iTunes.

OH HEY GET A T-SHIRT, WON’T YOU?

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY and #AL QUIZ ringtones/singles now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Blue Apron.  And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

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The Jordan Quiz (Plus Gross Chips and Alison's Tears)

Special guest Jordan Morris is back and he’s brought a quiz. How well do Alison and the Thursday gang (Jenna Kim JonesAllan MossDaniel Quantz and Jeff Fox) know Jordan? Also where in the world is Greg Heller? Plus Alison’s licking disgusting lamb flavored chips and crying in the recovery room, Jenna has pregnancy brain, we’re over Vine, everyone’s unwrapping cinnamon roles and we’re talking ear wax. Plus we did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

A note about this episode (a #FERTALERT): A day after recording, Alison found out that the egg she was told had a “very low” chance of fertilizing actually DID fertilize overnight and now she and Daniel are happy to say they have another high quality embryo. This will only make sense if you listen to the episode and/or are Alison’s doctor.

Download the episode from iTunes.

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY and #AL QUIZ ringtones/singles now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Naturebox and Blue Apron.  And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

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Mary Katharine Ham Returns, Again!

Mary Katharine Ham makes her triumphant third appearance on Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend to talk about her new book End of Discussion (recently featured in The New Yorker), her co-author Guy Benson who came out in a footnote in the book, fighting with Bill O’Reilly, Joan Rivers, free speech, religious freedom, babies, “homocons,” Greg Gutfeld’s height, left vs. right, guns, women shooting guns, drugs and so much more. Plus we took your questions over twitter and did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

Download the episode from iTunes.

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY and #AL QUIZ ringtones/singles now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Blinds.com.  And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

Continue Reading

Kevin Pereira Returns

Kevin Pereira returns to Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend to talk about dark thoughts, Hack My Life, hidden camera shoots, MDMA and responsible drug use, growing up in an emotionally abusive home, being desensitized to violence, Twitch, empathy, Christian Science vs. Scientology, relationships and so much more. Plus we took your questions over twitter and did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

Download the episode from iTunes.

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY and #AL QUIZ ringtones/singles now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Casper.  And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

Continue Reading

How I Feel at this Point in the IVF Cycle

I’m now at the point of the IVF cycle where I wake up wanting to punch something. It’s like my PMS has PMS only it isn’t PMS it’s a shitload of injectable hormones coursing through my system making me super irritable. I can sense people fidgeting in other rooms and I WOULD LIKE THEM TO STOP RIGHT NOW.

You, with your leg bouncing up and down making that squeaky sound. JUST STOP.

And the clock in my bathroom, ticking. Is it always this loud? It’s all very Edgar Allan Poe.

Someone just honked. I hate that person.

And my dog with her breathing. Actually, she gets a pass.

My stomach just growled or gurgled and it was deafening.

OH THAT INFERNAL TICKING. I have half a mind to march in there and yank out that double AA.

The real kick in the pantaloons is I’m trying to stay calm and relaxed because I think everything works better if you’re calm and relaxed however yesterday my anxiety and frustration began ratcheting up and today it is off the charts.

And the thing with hormones is you can’t be SURE that’s why you’re feeling so easily agitated. Maybe everyone really is being a fucknut and clocks are ticking loudly and nothing’s going right and no one cares and everyone’s ignoring you and THINGS ARE SUPER FUCKED. Probably not, but maybe.

Yesterday I began crying at the fertility clinic and I’m kind of surprised it’s taken me this long to lose my composure there considering the nature of infertility and all the hormones and the clinic’s insistence on early morning appointments and my not being a morning person.

So I trudged in there with my very little buffer yesterday and found out that even though everything looked really promising this month (it varies monthly and if things don’t look promising they will make you come back the following month instead of trying to do a cycle of IVF on a month where it won’t be effective. This has happened to me repeatedly and sometimes it’s a relief because I feel like I need a break and sometimes I just feel disheartened and as if I’m losing time), and even though my labs were excellent, like better than they’ve ever been, and even though I’m now on day 7 of jamming needles full of drugs into my stomach, and even though I’ve been feeling so positive about this cycle and so in tune with my body in a way I never have before to the extent that I thought I’d turned a corner and worked through whatever was holding me back prior to now and here we go, now my body will respond to the medication like most women respond and I can be like everyone else who does IVF and finally I’ll produce a bunch of eggs, enough that they can sort through them and find the good ones and we can create a real family with more than one kid instead of me being this weird outlier who for whatever undetermined reason isn’t pushing out many eggs (one in five eggs are good however I’m producing fewer than 5 eggs a cycle which means the road ahead is long and hard) and isn’t really responding to the drugs, um, this sentence has turned into a word labyrinth and I can’t find my way out.

Or maybe it’s turned into a corn maze of words? I could go either way.

Anyway, I guess it’s kind of silly to think just modifying my lifestyle a bit (working out more, changing my diet, meditating, getting massages which is as close to acupuncture as I can get presently because it scares me) would change something so fundamental inside me. And yet I kind of got into a magical thinking trap.

I’ve seen people close to me do this: blame themselves when their physical ailments or illnesses don’t abate despite a lot of mental work. And it always breaks my heart because it’s like, life is already piling on and now you’re kicking yourself too?

But for the short time when I thought that somehow I’d righted this ship by trying to take control of my mood and thoughts and “energy” and all that, I felt so empowered. And to fall back into what is probably the truth: that it’s capricious and random and out of my control, feels more scary than liberating.

Aaaand I’m realizing I never finished my thought above which is that I found out yesterday that my right ovary is “sleeping,” meaning it isn’t responding to the medications. My left is producing a few eggs which is good and which means all hope for this cycle isn’t lost, I just thought I was clearing the finish line and instead I’m in the dugout. (That’s the correct sports metaphor, right? I AM JOKING.)

And I know I said my goal was to be not tethered to the outcome. To live my life and do everything I can to get pregnant but not to be so hung up on if it’s working because it’s out of my control and etc. But things were looking so good that I allowed myself to really get my hopes up even though I wasn’t aware at the time that’s what I was doing.

But really, if I’m being honest which I am, this is partly about having a baby and partly about feeling like a weirdo outlier like I suggested earlier. It’s about feeling like I’m running in a race with all these swift, able bodied people but I’m lame and misshapen and my body just isn’t working like it’s supposed to. And I realize there are a thousand judgments and distortions in that sentence but it’s kicking around my brain and probably napping on my sleeping ovary.

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Jim Florentine Returns

Jim Florentine returns to Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend to talk about hiring a private investigator to find out what was going on in his marriage, being typecast as the “jerk boyfriend” in movies and TV shows, Trainwreck, grieving, Florentine justice, upper decking, his relationship with Robin Quivers, Howard Stern Show, Anthony Cumia, working with Louis CK, joint custody and so much more. Plus we took your questions over twitter and did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

Download the episode from iTunes.

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY ringtones now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Blue Apron.  And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

Continue Reading

Sarah Colonna Returns

Sarah Colonna returns to Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend to talk about her new book Has Anyone Seen My Pants? We also chat about how she met her fiance, feeling comfortable with your age, doing a commercial with Candice Bergen, spending thousands on a hookup, dating an athlete, vacationing with Jen Kirkman, hating winter, toxic friendships and so much more. Plus we took your questions over twitter and did a round of Just Me Or Everyone.

Download the episode from iTunes.

HOT SUMMER JAMS ALERT: The HGFY and TOUCH THE TUSHY ringtones now available for all platforms!!! Go to Gumroad.com/alisonrosen.

Also, our live podfest ep with Doug Benson and Matt Costa is now available!

Wondering how to contact the show and submit your Just Me Or Everyone?

This show is brought to you by Amazon (clear your cookies first and what the hell, make a bookmark!) and Audible.  And shop in my Amazon store!

Credits? We have some!

Executive producer: Alison Rosen

Producer: Jeff Fox

Music: Trapp Dog Tom Rapp

Logo: Kezilla

follow @alisonrosen and @ariynbf for updates. Don’t use iTunes? Subscribe to the show’s RSS feed.

ALSO ALSO: like us on Facebook!

And read Alison’s new column!

And  read this review of ARIYNBFand read this article about ARIYNBF and buy the live episode from podfest.

Continue Reading

Site: Todd Jackson | Art Direction: Josh Holtsclaw | Original Logo: Kezilla | Show Music: Tom Rapp