I think it’s interesting that more people would like to know what it feels like to get punched in the nuts than how to properly fondle nuts.
Oh goodness, I’ve totally crossed over into not safe for work waters, huh?
Anyway, I should be doing pre-Red Eye things but I just noticed the views were tipped in a certain direction on YouTube.
Ok bye.
Oh and someone named Sooper Trev started a Facebook group dedicated to this most [some funny word here] of [something else funny.]
See those ugly ads? And that fugly search box to the right? And that donate button? I would like to make a living doing what I love—thinking about myself and sometimes blogging and recording videos—and so I’m trying to get on this monetizing money train.
How do I feel about this? Well first of all I hate the word monetize. It’s not even word! It’s like “Hey, I’m going to obnoxiate right now. Then I’m going to showerize and maybe later I’ll conversate.”
But yeah, times are tough and so this blog must suffer. Care to click on all those ads? Do it!
In other news, I’m on Red Eye tonight. I’m going to paste ads all over myself.
This video took all night to upload. YouTube, I curse you!
In social situations you tend to:
a) rock back and forth
b) eat hand
c) pet own face while staring intently at strangers and mouthing “you”
d) STOP YELLING AT ME
Your friends describe you as
a) mute
b) human-like at times
c) creepy
d) friends?
You get energy from
a) dead animals
b) avoiding people
c) I SAID STOP YELLING AT ME!
d) helmets and/or robots
Your first thought in the morning is typically
a) Guess they had the LD50 wrong. AGAIN.
c) Time to wear someone else’s skin!
b) I would like to do something weird with pantyhose
d) Same shit, different jail cell
Your binoculars are
a) Something you keep on your bedside table
b) Useful for birding
c) And by birding you mean hiding in bushes and staring at people with binoculars
d) out to get you
After prolonged socializing you feel the need to
a) lick your lips repeatedly
b) pick at your scabs
c) touch yourself in public
d) grow dreadlocks (white people only)
If a candy bar was named after you it would be
a) Baby Ruth Won’t Stop Crying!
b) Nuts And Chocolate Minus Chocolate!
c) DSMmmm!
d) Kit Skat
I mean nerds affectionately, by the way. So does anyone know how to put technorati and digg tags at the bottom of each post so that people can digg and technorati and whatever else I should have them do? Because I’m not sure that Share This button is really achieving the kind of communist ideal of blog sharing that I’m going for. And by that I mean when I write a post I think it should belong to everyone and should be instantly disseminated and loved by all. Like Animal Farm. All blog posts are equal but some are more equal than others. I realize that made no sense.
Anyway, I turn to you guys because I love you and want you to enjoy the fruits of my laziness plus inquisitiveness.
Also I was sick last night so I didn’t vlog as I said I would but don’t you worry, I’m going to Q&A vlog soon. Probably tonight.
I’ll be on Doug Giles show on Clashradio.com (that’s where you can go to listen) at 11:30am ET this morning talking about my 101 Things to Do In A Sh*tty Economy along with other stuff. What kind of other stuff? That’s for me to know and you to find out! Also, that’s for me to find out! The show will rebroadcast on RFCradio from 3 to 4pm and it’ll also be available archived tomorrow, or something. I think? Anyway, yeah.
And and unrelated, to the people who wanted me to sign something I put the address in the comments on that post.
I kind of wish this was a video of us holding cashews but it isn’t. It’s a primer on the delicate art of nut fondling, filmed when we couldn’t stop laughing. Warning: immature adult content. [Allow me to add that there is no actual nut fondling nor even any nuts in this video. Grody!]
And by the way, this is only one of two awesome nut-related videos we shot.
Ok, which is worse: When your brain makes a decision and your emotions lag behind? Or when your emotions make a decision and your brain lags behind?
You know how when you’re falling asleep or just waking up or basically phasing in and out of sleep you can be having a fairly normal chain of thoughts and then you’ll have one bizarre one and that’s how you’ll know you were starting to fall asleep? It happened to me once while I was driving, which is a true story. I was driving back to Claremont from Santa Barbara (where I saw Lenny Kravitz and Blind Melon. Go ahead and judge me!) and suddenly I saw the Michelin Man and bunch of confetti out the left window. Soon after I felt speed bumps and my friend, who’d also fallen asleep, saying, “Are you falling asleep?” while punching me in the shoulder. “I was in the middle of an amazing dream!” I yelled at him. Then we crashed and died.
Well anyway, last night I was thinking that I really need to do something about my recycling/trash bin situation. Right now I have a lot of this going on:
That’s, from left to right: trash, paper and cardboard, bottles and whatever else goes with bottles (glasses and wonderful conversation, am I right?!?!?!?!) and another trash bag.
But I really should get something like this:
Or maybe something like this:
And then next to that I should definitely get this:
Yes, that’s right. A thing to blow up balloons in my kitchen.