If I wanted to live in Seattle I would have moved there.
The Daily Alison (where it's father's day and I get caught in the rain)
Clearly I was about to sneeze during this whole show.
Things to do in the rain
It’s like that Ray Bradbury short story where it rains every day and then one day the sun comes out and the mean kids lock that one earth girl inside and then she’ll have to wait another seven years to see the sun and it’s really sad. You know the one I mean? Sure you do. Don’t pretend you don’t because I just don’t have time to explain.
Anyway, it’s been raining every day forever here in New York and people are pretty miffed about it. I myself was frankly kind of ticked off and also P.O.’d and a little bent out of shape until I realized that just because it’s raining doesn’t mean there aren’t all sorts of ways to take advantage of Mother Nature’s urine surplus. Seriously: heaven’s flop sweat is ours for the taking! Here are some fun things to do:
Make rain tea! Put a teabag in a cup and then walk outside. Voila. Rain tea!
Rinse out your conditioner on the run! Shave a good 45 seconds to a minute off your morning ritual by leaving the house with a head full of conditioner. By the time you get to your destination, it’ll be mostly rinsed out. And your clothes will be moisturized too!
Dye your undergarments pink! Red shirt + white bra+ red pants + white panties + rain = pink undergarments! Just in time for Valentine’s Day in 8 months!
Show your hairstyle a thing or two! Oh your hairstyle thinks it’s so sassy doesn’t it? With its perfect scultping and its mousse and its framing your face just so. Well you march out there in the rain and you show that hairstyle a thing or two!
Show your dry shirt a thing or two! Your shirt thinks its SO GREAT just because it’s dry? If that sounds familiar then you just strut out there in the rain and you show your shirt a thing or two!
Turn your umbrella inside out! Tired of your umbrella always keeping you dry? No problem amigo, just wait for a little wind and then head out there and let nature take your umbrella from somewhat functional wetness inhibitor to inverted kite in no time.
T-shirt design contest & a note about today's show
Hey designers and people who are crafty. I want to make t-shirts so we can all profess our love for me however I don’t know what they should look like. I think we need a logo. What do you guys think? What do you want to wear?
I’m thinking something like “Have You Had Your Daily Alison?” somewhere and maybe alisonrosen.com somewhere else? Clearly when it comes to merchandise, I’m just a consumer. Anyway, if you can design a logo and it’s awesome, that logo will appear on a shirt and you will get a free shirt and I’ll interview you on The Daily Alison (if you want. no pressure if you prefer your anonymity). So do your best work and send it to alisonmrosen [at] gmail [dot] com with “t-shirt design” in the subject line.
As today is Father’s Day, my guest will be my dad! However real life has interceded and so the awesome interview won’t be going up until tonight. Today’s Daily Alison will be a Nightly Alison.
And happy Father’s Day to all dads and happy Father’s Day to all moms too. And all ducklings.
Part 2 of The Daily Alison (Where Will Forte reveals his real name)
Let’s see, do I have anything to say that I didn’t say in the below post? Um… hm… uh… No, I guess not. Please retweet!
Oh and if you want to follow this show on Tumblr go here: The Daily Alison
The Daily Alison (Part 1, where Will Forte is writing a MacGruber movie)
Ok, I’m not going to lie. This is a little slow at the beginning but you people need to slow down and take a breath anyway. Seriously, you’re like a blur with all this to-ing and fro-ing. And fro-yo-ing. Some of those toppings are going to fall off if you keep this up and I will be damned if I’m going to just follow after you picking up your sprinkles and pokies and jimmies and scrapple. And joeys. (Tiny chocolate covered baby kangaroos.) (That’s disgusting.)
Anyway, here’s the story I wrote about Kirstin Wiig referred to in the episode and here’s more on Will Forte.
Photos from last night's Red Eye
Here I am smiling.
The Sentimentalist
My friend Wendy Molyneux and her husband Jeff Drake and Brooke Dillman and Tuc Watkins made this hilarious video which I think you should watch if you enjoy laughing. If you don’t enjoy laughing, then please dip into my archives and read about when I nearly choked to death on a pickle.
The Daily Alison (Where Graham Elwood flies coach)
More info on Graham Elwood? Go here.
Tomorrow’s guest is Will Forte.
The Daily Alison (with guest Wendy Molyneux, parts 1 & 2)
This is the Wendy of Alison and Wendy fame! And other kinds of fame!
Also it was only after I watched this that I realized she didn’t name the dorms we lived in junior and senior year. All of a sudden we were talking about pot and cookies and then I woke up and my clothes were on backwards and the shrinky dinx I’d put in the oven twelve hours before were burned and microscopic.