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On the next Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Tomorrow, Wednesday, JAN 20 at 10pm EST/7pm PST

My pal Laura Leu will come over and give me an accordion lesson! Also, we’ll chat with comedian Liam McEneaney who’s hosting a benefit for Haiti on Jan 25 featuring Fred Armisen, Todd Barry, Janeane Garafalo, Kristin Schaal, Wyatt Cenac and other people whose names I don’t  have in front of me! Dammit why don’t I have their names in front of me? Someone is getting fired for this.

Not only that, Liam is all buddyroo with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, or so it seemed at the show I saw him host where I won a raffle. Remember that? I intend to find out if it was as exciting for Liam as it was for me. I suspect it was.

And also, we’ll be inaugurating a new segment where we call  up a fan. Yes, that’s right, the FIRST FAN PHONE CALL! OR perhaps that should be written PHIRST PHAN PHONE CALL! No, I’m sorry, it shouldn’t be written that way.

Anyway, RSVP here.

Oh and as a side note did you know I learned I draw as many viewers as Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show which is considered super awesome and a sign that one can have success doing internet chat shows? Why I’m not rolling around in sponsor dollars—or any dollars—is beyond me. Anyone know any sponsors? Send them my way please, lest I get evicted in the midst of a broadcast which would be super embarrassing!

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Recent photos

Here I am in the green room before Red Eye

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Here  I am in another green room during the taping of  Red Eye when Dr. Baden was doing his segment and they were all, “Hey Alison, get the hell out of here.” “Fine,” I replied ruefully. “I’ll go take a photo of myself in the green room.” Then I cursed them mightily up and down. They were none the wiser.

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And then after the show I was going to go home but next thing I knew I was at a party. Here’s Laura Leu.

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And here’s Lauren Sivan.

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And then here I am behind but also next to Bill Schulz.

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Ooh look, an accordion which to feature prominently in an upcoming segment on my Ustream show when aforementioned Laura Leu who plays a mean squeezebox gives me a lesson!

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And then here’s one of my new plants which still needs a name.

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On tonight's Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

fun-shira-lazarOn tonight’s show: Shira Lazar

So as you may have gleaned from Twitter today, the live haircut I was to be given on camera by a producer for The Daily Show won’t be happening because he’s flying to Vegas for a story (though he promises/threatens to drop into the chat room if his flight has wifi). My split ends are thankful for the temporary stay of execution.

I’m excited to welcome media empress and internet personality Shira Lazar whom you may recognize from Red Eye last night or her various appearances on just about everything. Seriously, she is everywhere, including my show tonight! Yay!

Also, Dustin will be dropping in. Double yay!

Also, I kind of want to talk a little about the weird cognitive dissonance I feel when thinking about Haiti for one minute and then getting distracted and thinking of a funny thing to tweet the next and then being like “Wait, but what about Haiti.” You know? Did that make any sense? It’s not dissimilar to what many of us felt after 9/11. So if you guys want to talk about this at all, we can, and if you’d rather keep things on a lighter note, we can do that too!

And of course we’ll be naming a couple plants. One is red and one is yellow. Go nuts!

Watch here at 10pm EST/7pm PST

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The trouble with putting things in your mouth

I’ve put some things in my mouth today and it hasn’t gone well. First I made a salad with a bag of triple-washed lettuce only I think some other bag was probably washed six times and mine none because I found a bug in my salad and later a clump of dirt. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit the time between the bug and the dirt as it reveals that I picked the bug out and kept eating as opposed to shrieking, throwing the lettuce in the air and jumping up onto the couch as would be girly, however I’m not going to let a bug keep me from food. I am,  however, going to let a mouthful of dirt keep me from food. GROSS I said, spitting out gritty mud chunks and throwing out the compromised lettuce. So then I put a Lean Cuisine dinner in the microwave—steak tips portobello which is 160 calories and always cracks me up because I imagine someone going for a manicure and asking for steak tips on their nails! HA!—and the gravy-esque sauce got all over the interior of  the microwave because some loser (pssst…. it was me!) didn’t properly vent the film on top of the tray. What a bunch of bullshit!

The universe is trying to tell me that I need a personal chef, clearly.

Oh and one more thing about the trouble with putting stuff in my mouth: I dropped two blobs of the frozen dinner on myself. One on my fashionable sweatpants and one on my stylish t-shirt. Now I look fantastic but I smell like gravy! Or something which approximates gravy! Gravo!

In other news, big Ustream show on Wednesday! A producer for The Daily Show will trim my hair while I freak out. If you want to read up on how this came to be, I explain it in this post, beginning  under the pic of Pat Kiernan.

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