In that last post I meant Christmas Eve, not New Year's Eve. I'm getting my eves all mixed up.
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Author Archive | Alison Rosen
It scares me that I've become this person
However my sister just gave me a thoughtful New Year’s Eve present to help with the Meringue Experiment 2008. Since all pictures are made cuter with Tobey in the background, I just spent far too long on this prize-winning shot. What prize you ask? First place for photos of decorating bags plus Maltese puppies.
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Fastest gift exchange ever
My sister: Want to give me a Barnes & Noble gift certificate for xmas?
Me: Yes, yes I do.
My sister: Ok then.
Need a resolution?
If you’re like me then you’re already perfect so New Year’s Eve proves troublesome when it comes to choosing a resolution. How can you fix what isn’t broken? How can you improve on perfection? How do you solve a problem like Maria?
And yet you know someone is going to ask you about your resolution and you’re going to have to come up with something. Below are some trusty standbys. Choose one or choose a few. Mix and match! Or don’t. But if you need one in a pinch, here you go:
I resolve to:
stop biting my nails
start biting my nails
stop swearing in front of children
have some children and not swear in front of them
stop exposing myself to the neighbors
expose myself to the neighbors
stop eating my feelings
stop eating your feelings
stop doing drugs
only do fun drugs
stop setting fires
start journaling
start exercising
start living life to the fullest
start reading (i.e. learn how to read)
start not being such as asshole
start paying for stuff instead of just putting it in my pocket and running out of the store
lose ten pounds
lose the ‘tude
lose my keys and find them in the outstretched hand of an attractive gentleman who caught them when I threw them at him really hard, accidentally
lose half my savings in a Ponzi scheme
lose my shirt in a poker game
lose my cool in a high pressure situation
lose the weave, girlfriend
talk to a physician
talk to a professional
talk to my boss
talk to the hand
leave a message at the wrist
send thank you notes
send warm wishes
send bills on time
send balls of yarn
send emails from the computer at home instead of while you’re telling me a story which I’m pretending to listen to but really not because I’m sending email
send a letter it would get there faster
update my facebook status
update my marital status
update my style
update my steez
update my showering schedule
update my linked in page because I’m only 70% done
wash my makeup brushes
wash my dog
wash my hair
wash that man right out of my life (plus, send him on his way)
wash off the clown makeup
wash off the blood
wash off the meringue residue
write down all my brilliant ideas
write down computer passwords so I don’t forget them
learn to juggle
change computer passwords because I wrote them down and lost the papers
change underwear
change my bad habits
change, be the
More about the couch?
So how am I doing you might be wondering? Well this morning I woke up to a super uncomfortable burning sensation going from my belly button to my knees so I writhed around a bit and then threw up a few times. It was refreshing, really, and by that I mean it was so horrible that I actually started crying at one point because I’m very brave. Then I whimpered and felt sorry for myself while thinking that actually I’m lucky that I don’t have to be working right now and then I slept for awhile. Now I feel better so I can turn my attention to more important things.
1. Not only did the pilot on the flight have braces but the flight attendant who was making the announcements had a speech impediment so it sounded like “inflatable vethts are located under your theat.”
2. Tobey may be eating his Tobeys again.
3. We’re closing in on couch decision time if I want to get the couch I already have made in a stock plus fabric. (my options are either returning it outright, exchanging it for another identical one since it’s ripped in a couple spots, or getting the couch in a fabric I might like better.) I’m leaning towards the latter, even though it’s more expensive, because I think the couch is comfortable I’m just not loving the material. So help me decide which of these I should go with. Oh and if you have something assholish to say, please just don’t. I have a headache. (That’s not directed at any of you whom I love to bits. Just saying in general.)
Couch as it is now (but without those throw pillows)
Clockwise from top left: camel, chamois, sand, latte (in real life latte is lighter than it’s appearing here)
Another view: from left, chamois, latte, camel, sand
Meringue experiment part two
This time I used electric beaters and splenda granular and parchment paper, all courtesy of my parents’ kitchen. I’m so headed for the misshapen low cal vanilla flavored confectionary hall of fame!
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At the airport
And no, I’m not one of those people who wears my watch with the face on the inside of my wrist. It just tends to flip around.
shot from Thursday night's Red Eye
Waiting politely for a chance to interrupt.
This never happens
After a busy day of making snow angels and doing nothing, I decided to cook and not only am I using the stove but I’m also using the oven. This is officially the first time I’ve used both simultaneously. I’m multitasking!
What am I making you might ask? I’m making paste on the stove and broiling shoes in the oven.
Not really. I’m attempting to make science my bitch by making meringues using only egg whites, cream of tartar, salt, splenda and bee spit and angora wool and thimbles. If I succeed I will be very famous. Just warning you. If I fail I will have created a delicious alternative to styrofoam peanuts.
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How do we feel about this?
By we I mean me. Is it cheesy or neato? I find most things are one of the two. And yes, I know I need help. It’s the Quinn sofa from Z Gallerie and it’s got silver nail heads on the arm, upping the neat/cheese quotient.
