Hello my little cocktail weenies. How goes it? Wait, I’m not sure I want to address you as cocktail weenies. Hello my little water crackers? Clearly I’m working in the realm of hors d’oevres right now. And while we’re talking about that I got into a little debate with one Doug Benson last week because I insisted that pigs in a blanket are cocktail weenies in puff pastry and he claimed they’re sausages in pancakes and then said it was a regional thing however I’m from the same region he is so don’t be pulling any Best Foods/ Hellman’s shit on me, you know? I mean just don’t. Just take that shit you are about to pull and just stop pulling. I insist. Anyway it was kind of a backburner sort of debate until I pushed it into a big thing because that’s what I do for fun and I recall various other people being drawn into the debate in the bowels of Caroline’s which looks like the bowels of any other big club I’ll have you know. Specifically it looks like the bowels of the House of Blues in Anaheim, CA where my band played a few times. Oh, did I mention I was in a band and that I know famous people? Allow me to get that out of the way a bunch of times.
Anyway, it was decided that pigs in a blanket are sausages in pancakes in the morning on breakfast menus and cocktail weenies in puff pastry later in the day. Should you be holding an actual pig and you put it in a blanket then not only are you thoughtful (i.e. you don’t want the pig to get cold!) but that sounds adorable and I’d like to see it. If it’s a piglet, so much the better.
So where was I before dropping names and celebrating myself? Oh yes. I was saying hi.
Wait, back to the adorable piglet in a blanket. How cute would that be? I mean, that would be very Charlotte’s Web cute.
But just wanted to say hi because I feel like I’ve been doing vlogs so much that I haven’t really posted text wise. So here I am. Things are good. I’m tired. Um…
Wow, this is awkward. I mean, I figured it might be a little stilted but not this and you just sitting there doing that thing you do is not helping matters. Oh don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean. That thing. No, not that one, the other one. Yeah, that’s the one. There you go again. I could just choke right now I could.
Oh and also! I’ll be on Paltalk tomorrow at 11am ET with Diana Falzone. Show up in the chatroom, won’t you? Here’s a link. http://blog.paltalk.com/paltalkshows/advice/the-diana-falzone-show/
