So I moved from New York to California this weekend. Here are some photos capturing this delightful adventure. (Click on the thumbnail to read about each one. Click again to make the photo even bigger. Use the back button on your browser to get back to this page. God, do I have to tell you everything?)
I think it’s time to shake things up. My new go-to adjective is going to be “Oscar-nominated” and my catchphrase? “That’s so Raven.” Can’t wait to use my new Oscar-nominated catchphrase which is so Raven. You know?
When packing, it’s a good idea to stop and read old magazines as you come across them.
When packing, it’s a good idea to invent a moving quiz which will require frequent blog updates.
Unsure what to do with leftovers and scrap paper? Whip up a delicious egg white and old receipts frittata! (Garnish with paper clips and pennies)
When you find an emergency rain poncho, don’t just stand there, put it on!!!!!1
“Oooooh, lip gloss!!” is the kind of thought that will keep you motivated and on task
It gets messier before it gets cleaner
The above sentence is English
I’m sitting here waiting for the mover to come and give me an estimate and I should probably be doing something moving related, like throwing out stuff or packing but instead I’m going to sit here writing a blog post about Mad Men because I am very devil may care and also I’m totally over moving. I don’t enjoy it on any level. I think it’s for assholes.
I’d just like to point out that in episode 2 of season 4, Dr. Faye Miller said to Don, when he asked her to dinner (she declined) that he’d be married within a year. So really his engagement wasn’t so out of the blue since it was not only foreshadowed, but predicted.
That is all.
As I begin the arduous process of packing up my apartment and determining what goes with me to California and what stays behind to get tossed, donated or sold, I’m faced with the daunting task of figuring out what to do with the following:
my football phone
a collection of twist ties from loaves of bread
A Franklin Mint collector’s plate of “Scarlet and Her Suitors”
A small sculpture of a labradoodle made entirely of raisins
A large sculpture of a labradoodle made entirely of raisins
Franklin, from the Franklin Mint
syringes
salami
my collection of blood oranges
various zithers and lutes
1 autoharp
1 manual harp
assorted pairs of corduroy pants in men’s extra large
hair bows
bow ties
a well-worn scirocco
a gently-used scirocco
a brand new scirocco
a pile of parking tickets
18 remote controls
19 appliances
600 batteries
15 million roles of Kodak film
14 billion calligraphy pen ink cartridges
a rain forest
five footballs fields filled with sports fans
a banana (ripe)
clown shoes (matching pair, scuffed)
beef jerky
I have a lot of things I need to talk about but I can only talk about some of them and so I’m going to say up front that this blog post is going to be frustrating and self-indulgent and probably melodramatic. It’s also going to be lemon-scented and square-shaped. It will not have wings. (more…)
This will probably come as a giant surprise to you, but I wasn’t the coolest kid growing up. In fact, I was kind of a dork. I hope you didn’t just take a sip of anything and then spit it all over yourself when I dropped that bomb. I’ve been writing some stories about all of this, stories which are true, and I’ve decided to excerpt them. And by excerpt I mean copy-and-paste. Here’s is one. Please love it. Or don’t. I don’t really care because that’s how cool I am now. (Like Ronnie advised Sam in the Jersey Shore house, I’m just doing “me.”) (more…)
As you may remember, my sister gave my mom a card for her birthday and I felt she’d chosen an unfairly cute card which is totally the kind of thing she does. This is the card:
Well I’m happy to report that I held my own, card-wise, with the following:
In other news, I seem to have fallen into whatever-you-want-to-call-it where unless I’m in motion I’m kind of depressed. This is a particularly undesirable place to be because what it means to me is that I’m not really okay with my thoughts and myself and my current everything. Could I be less specific and less articulate? I could, just you wait. See, I had meetings in LA yesterday and the day before because I’m very important and while to-and-fro-ing I felt like I was accomplishing stuff and doing what I should be doing and here we go and I’m on my way and I’m not stagnating and etc. But today I have less on the agenda so I feel blah, but actually what I feel is that I should be dealing with all the moving stuff I need to deal with, which I really don’t want to deal with. So I guess what I’m saying is it’s less about being in motion than about my not wanting to deal with moving. Also, I have a lot of articulate and thought provoking and philosophical things to say about myriad topics including moving, Marvin, door slamming, adulthood and other stuff so you should probably clear your schedule.
