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This is interesting/cute. I must admit, I had weird mixed feelings when I first started reading because a coyote ate my first pet duck when I was about six—after the death of my mom’s parents it was the most traumatic thing I experienced as a wee one—but I’ve come around to liking this blog. Some day I’ll write more about the coyote eating Cotton (that was the duck’s name). Lately I’ve been thinking that I should write out the stories of the most traumatic things I’ve experienced, not really because they’d be fun for others to read but just as an exercise in maybe letting go, and since I think I have elements of PTSD which is a term I usually toss around as a joke but that’s probably because humor is a coping mechanism–and also my favorite thing ever in the world—so it’s hard to really say what I mean. What do I mean? Exactly. So instead I will say that my new job is nice in that on late nights they buy us dinner and let us come in later the following morning. It’s kind of scary how much it’s the little things that can make a difference. Also, the mocha nut fudge flavored coffee pods which I’m addicted to.

You are! Okay, here is what I’m looking for now: quotes with the word Dave in them spoken by TV show characters, like if it’s a clip from Baywatch or Law and Order or anything cheesy or recognizable. The intention, ultimately, would be to use the snippets of dialogue and take them out of context to make them seem funny. So, send anything if it occurs to you. Thank you everyone!

I’m like a baby bird, so please regurgitate into my mouth any lines of dialogue from TV shows or news programs or commercials or anything you can think of involving the word “Dave” or “David.” For example:

“The tests came back positive, Dave, you have…” OR

“DAVE, LOOK OUT!” OR

“Hola, donde esta Dave?”

etcetera. Please also include where the line came from. I will be forever indebted to you and by the way, I don’t actually have a list of favorite commenters. YOU ARE ALL MY FAVORITE.

I feel really weird.

I didn’t expect it to be sad, but it kind of is! Because I’m going through CDs and finding the first ones I ever reviewed here and it feels like a long time ago. The funny thing is that I remember being not all that happy at the time, and so I’m feeling nostalgia for something I don’t remember fondly. Also, perhaps dismantling isn’t right word if that suggests some kind of hot allen wrench action. I just mean going through the mountains of crap I collected here. I changed desks three times over the last three years and by the third time I didn’t even really set stuff up, I just lived like a desk refugee (though the post-it note that says “please buy a stamp for personal mail” which I found on a piece of mail thoughtfully returned to me, is proudly tacked up on my bulletin board.) What was I saying? Back to the sorting I go!

[update: are you guys able to see the below video? Let me know.]

I was looking through old stuff and found this from a couple years ago. I don’t think I ever posted it. Note how even though I’m on the red carpet, I manage to talk about mice.

Usually when you make up jokes in your sleep they don’t hold up (though they’re always hilarious at the time) but I woke up with the following humdinger going through my head and I think it actually works:

“My boss says I’m an ‘inventive writer’ [pause] I make up all my facts!”

Should I ever being doing dinner theater on some cruise ship full of journalists I’ll be sure to use that one.

(or did I hear this somewhere and just think I came up with it?)

My sister and I just watched this commercial like five times and then I was so overwhelmed with cuteness that I had to find it on youtube. The one on TV is even cuter. It’s the part where he wiggles his legs that really gets me. Also, there’s a pretty cute triaminic frog commercial except that frog is like the Dakota Fanning of frogs—a little precicious/showy—whereas the bear is more genuinely adorable/stuffed up.

The decision to write about Salt N Pepa is the decision to have “Push It” stuck in your head for three days.

While normally I only post videos with me in them, or of Facts of Life, I’m branching out today because this is so cute is nearly brought tears to my eyes. Okay fine, it actually did bring tears to my eyes right around the part here the polar bear cries!