Did I already mention I’m hating the ads? Totally hating them. I think they’re not long for this blog so click the hell out of them if you’re feeling fidgety because I think I’m going to have to send them to the virtual trash bin in the sky.
Also
As of today I’m kind of hating the ads. I feel like my blog is a human pop up! Except it’s not human and it’s not a pop up. But you know what I mean.
Does this mean I have a job in Singapore?
I think so, right? (Also, I felt kind of silly about having a google blogs alert set for my name until I realized how common that is among people who are obsessed with themselves.)
Also, kinda hating my earrings from last night!
A green room shot from tonight
With the lovely Diana Falzone who is not my sister, though she and I were talking tonight about how people often think we’re sisters. This was taken at the end of the night when I had my coat on but she took a few with her camera before the show and promised to email them tomorrow. Get excited!
Vlog about books and strippers
Kiersey Pretention Sorter
Choose which answer you most identify with:
I tend toward
a) cravats
b) pocket watches
c) reading texts in the language in which they were written
I prefer to speak
a) on a rotary phone
b) on the latest piece of cutting edge technology
c) French
When a friend comes to me with a problem, I
a) quote Kierkegaard
b) thaw some Kobe beef, order up an 8 ball and make a night of it
c) think to myself, What Would Sartre Do?
Love
a) is something which inspires wars
b) is something which inspires poetry
c) is something I feel when I hear myself speak
Going to a restaurant is a chance
a) to show off my extensive knowledge of fine cuisine
b) to show off my extensive knowledge of fine wine
c) to order in Italian
One should always
a) drink champagne when one has the opportunity
b) love as if there is no tomorrow
c) cry after sex
Vacation
a) is good for the soul
b) is good for the spirit
c) is something I refer to as “going on holiday”
My guilty pleasure is
a) Shostokovich
b) Reading something in translation
c) Anais Nin
Breakfast
a) organic yoghurt
b) bulgar
c) something I shot on safari along with two fresh eggs from my own egg-laying chicken
Something nuts about nuts
I think it’s interesting that more people would like to know what it feels like to get punched in the nuts than how to properly fondle nuts.
Oh goodness, I’ve totally crossed over into not safe for work waters, huh?
Anyway, I should be doing pre-Red Eye things but I just noticed the views were tipped in a certain direction on YouTube.
Ok bye.
Oh and someone named Sooper Trev started a Facebook group dedicated to this most [some funny word here] of [something else funny.]
Please enjoy my obnoxious attempts to monetize this site
See those ugly ads? And that fugly search box to the right? And that donate button? I would like to make a living doing what I love—thinking about myself and sometimes blogging and recording videos—and so I’m trying to get on this monetizing money train.
How do I feel about this? Well first of all I hate the word monetize. It’s not even word! It’s like “Hey, I’m going to obnoxiate right now. Then I’m going to showerize and maybe later I’ll conversate.”
But yeah, times are tough and so this blog must suffer. Care to click on all those ads? Do it!
In other news, I’m on Red Eye tonight. I’m going to paste ads all over myself.
Q&A vlog
This video took all night to upload. YouTube, I curse you!
Myers-Briggs Creepy Index
In social situations you tend to:
a) rock back and forth
b) eat hand
c) pet own face while staring intently at strangers and mouthing “you”
d) STOP YELLING AT ME
Your friends describe you as
a) mute
b) human-like at times
c) creepy
d) friends?
You get energy from
a) dead animals
b) avoiding people
c) I SAID STOP YELLING AT ME!
d) helmets and/or robots
Your first thought in the morning is typically
a) Guess they had the LD50 wrong. AGAIN.
c) Time to wear someone else’s skin!
b) I would like to do something weird with pantyhose
d) Same shit, different jail cell
Your binoculars are
a) Something you keep on your bedside table
b) Useful for birding
c) And by birding you mean hiding in bushes and staring at people with binoculars
d) out to get you
After prolonged socializing you feel the need to
a) lick your lips repeatedly
b) pick at your scabs
c) touch yourself in public
d) grow dreadlocks (white people only)
If a candy bar was named after you it would be
a) Baby Ruth Won’t Stop Crying!
b) Nuts And Chocolate Minus Chocolate!
c) DSMmmm!
d) Kit Skat