Today my guest is comedian and Brooklynite Eugene Mirman who recently gave a hilarious commencement speech at a high school graduation. Was that redundant? I mean, you wouldn’t really give a commencement speech at a prom. Or sporting event. Or a funeral. Yet if I were to say that he recently gave a commencement speech at a high school that would sound, well, it just would sound sort of incomplete while being technically correct. Anyway, enjoy. Tomorrow my guest is notorious internet figure Julia Allison.
A link to all the crap I wrote on the TONYblog
Check it out! It’s all here and it’s fabulous if I do say so myself but then of course I’d say that because I’m fairly self-smitten. Anyway, the backstory is that when I worked at Time Out New York I was asked to hatch their then brand-new blog. I sat on it like it was my own and then I lovingly barfed up worms and seed into its mouth.
In other news, I’m now the proud owner of curtains. They’re hanging in my windows right this very minute. Don’t be jealous, curtain-less brethren.
The Daily Alison (featuring Alfred Schulz and a lot of talk about dogs)
If you recognize that last name it’s because Alfred is Bill Schulz from Red Eye’s younger brother. He’s a DJ moving to New York in a couple days. Listen and watch as I ask him probing questions about dogs. Seriously, apparently dogs were all I cared about this morning because I found a way to drive the conversation back to them repeatedly. I was like a pit bull, you know? Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go lift my leg on something. Or squat which would be more gender-appropriate.
Hi, I'm a trash magnet
I have a problem throwing stuff out as evidenced both by the fact that I don’t even own a real trash can and the clanging sound out I make when I walk into a room. “Oh, don’t mind me,” I say, laughing at the empty tuna cans and balls of tinfoil which have adhered to my backside like unconventional wind chimes. I was going to refer to them as foul-smelling wind chimes but the thing is that of course I rinse out the cans before sticking them on my butt. I’m not some kind of idiot.
Anyway, I loved this post by Chris Hardwick. Any day now I’m totally going to take it to heart.
The Daily Alison (Bad Alison! And the return of the quiz)
If you need more Robert Giampa, here’s the two of us talking about Rosenation and “the magic face.”
The Daily Alison (Where we look back at some recent intros)
Do you love visual puns and physical comedy? Then please love this video. In other news, I’m wearing my retainers right now for the first time in awhile, hence the lisp and the drooling. (Not in the video, but right now.) It’s pretty hot.
You might enjoy this clip if you think women should be seen and not heard
Get it? Because there’s no audio? Get it? Ok nevermind.
The Daily Alison (Wherein Diana Falzone compares herself to Howie Mandel)
More info about Diana? Go here.
The Daily Alison (Day 16; The TARGTKYGTKM Quiz)
The Daily Alison (Day 15; Wherein I do stuff and then talk to Paula)
So I had to edit out a few seconds from the beginning and end of this and then I had to cut out 8 seconds where the phone is ringing. I hope the slick production isn’t distracting. I also hope YouTube chokes on a sock for making me edit to fit their time parameters. Yeah that’s right. A sock. Chokes on a sock. I said it and I’ll say it again.
Anywhoozies, today I talked to Paula the former frontwoman of the band I played in and the current frontwoman of The Heels. Check them out here.
In other news, Hannity called today to see if I wanted to come on the panel. I was half expecting them to ask if I could come on tonight since I get a fair amount of last minute calls to do live TV but instead they want to know if I can come on in August. I’m sorry, that’s when I summer in a coconut, I explained. It’s a large coconut that sleeps 12 though the most we’ve ever had in there at one time was 8. Also, I’ve never had this much advance notice for anything. I’m probs going to have to get my shoes dyed to match for the occasion!