In the shower I think about bumper stickers
This is what I was thinking about in the shower:
Which would be the funniest bumper sticker?
a) Honk if you loves horns
b) Honk if you love honking
c) Honk if you love silence
d) Honk if you love bumper stickers
Come to Denmark
I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I don’t know shit about Denmark. Is it the one with the meatballs? Or the tulips? The wind turbines? The herring? But really, says its tourism board, it’s the one with the slutty women who are internet savvy.
I personally think this is kind of ingenious.
The Daily Alison's 100th episode!
Yay! 100 episodes! Yay! Woo!!
Oh and that line I butchered is this one:
“Beauty is truth, truth beauty”—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.
It’s from Keats’s Ode on a Grecian Urn which, incidentally, is where I get all my odes.
Want to read my McSweeney's column?
No more smuggling guns onto trains
Am I wrong in thinking this is scary? I suspect I’m much less pro-gun than a lot of you guys, seeing as I’m not at all, so feel free to explain in the comments why this isn’t the bad idea I’m thinking it is. Good thing I only travel by piggyback!
UPDATE: Ok wait, this is why I shouldn’t be doing any reading or writing before 10 AM and by that I mean noon because upon rereading I’m realizing that this is only allowing unloaded and locked handguns in checked baggage. That’s so much less big word here. But it brings me to an important topic. Which do you think are cuter: ducklings or puppies?
The Daily Alison (Ep. 99, Where I answer your questions and explain why I'm reading comic books)
You guys! I totally didn’t see about half the questions you sent in because I experienced a twitter error. Don’t make me go into details or else it might become apparent that it’s more my fault than twitter’s and I just don’t like that, I don’t like it one bit. So what I’m trying to say is, I’ll get you next time, people whose questions I didn’t answer. And as always, thanks to all of you who watch these videos and comment and make me laugh and smile and are awesome and the bestest.
My famous friend is making me look bad
So I’ve been bragging high and low, hither and thither, near and far, up and down, inside and out, spaghetti and fettuccine, flip flop and sandal, fork and knife, spoon and spork, turtle and yak, lagoon and lanai, swiffer and wet jet that I’m friends with Rhett Reese who co-wrote and co-produced Zombieland.
So imagine my What The Fuckness when I find out that he might be in town for the junket and I was unawares? It’s as if we aren’t as buddyroo as my incessant twittering would suggest. I hate when the truth leaks out! So I had to send him the following email, which is so lame I think it’s kind of cool but then I think it doubles back on itself and ends up to be lame but then it flips and is cool and then lands on the lame side of lame.
Hey! Are you in NYC for the junket? I’m totally bragging that I know you and the fact that you might be here and I didn’t know is NOT making me look cool. [emoticon here]
I’ll keep you posted.
UPDATE: he just wrote back before I had a chance to post this. Apparently he’s not here and wants to know if I’m seeing the movie. God, how demanding.
The Daily Alison (Ep 98, Matt Rodbard talks Kanye, VMAs and which stars have bad breath)
Check Metromix for Matt’s coverage including red carpet interviews and video.
The Daily Alison (Ep 97, At the housewarming)
Remember yesterday’s show where I shared my hopes and dreams about the housewarming party I was soon to be attending? Well I attended, and how! Watch this video and feast your eyes on sweaty me and also sweaty Dustin. After the party a bunch of people went to the Bell House to see some super hot DJs but I didn’t go. “GOD ALISON, UGH, DON’T BE LAME!” Dustin groaned as means of persuasion however my commitment to lameness couldn’t be put asunder so easily.