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The paper that dare not speak its name

Okay I have an important question: What kind of toilet paper do you guys use? Because I keep buying Cottonelle which then breaks apart in my hand and if I wanted a fistful of my own ass I would just forgo toilet paper altogether. Then again, I’m very averse to something like Charmin Ultra Strong because once I bought it accidentally and it’s like a scouring pad for your butt. It’s like a butt buff puff. An ass loofah. I realize I’m likely alienating many of you by even talking about this. It’s for a friend. A friend who occasionally  uses the bathroom. I myself merely go in there to do my hair which always looks great anyway.

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One minute celeb rant

Remember in yesterday’s episode how I said I may or may not put the above video on my blog? I decided I would. And I just did. As I said yesterday, it was for an audition but I didn’t want to deprive you of any of my precious words, because each of them is like a diamond wrapped in rubies covered in gold and dipped in gravy.

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I love this bedroom

korynbed

When you live in New York you don’t spend a lot of time in people’s bedrooms. It’s quite possible to be good friends with someone and have seen their apartment once or never. I like to imagine that when we all grow up and are married and have children this magically changes, however I also figured by now I wouldn’t need to call my parents across the country when I’m lost or filling out forms I don’t understand.

Anyway, over the weekend I saw my friend’s Koryn’s apartment and the minute I walked into her bedroom I fell in love. I can’t figure out exactly what it was, something about the way the light was streaming through the windows and the symmetry and the plants. The weird thing is that normally I’m not a fan of red—I’m a fan of blue and white and green and purple and cool tones—however it works in her room and feels very peaceful. So I had to take a photo so I could try to figure out what it is that I’m responding to.

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Site: Todd Jackson | Art Direction: Josh Holtsclaw | Original Logo: Kezilla | Show Music: Tom Rapp