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Million dollar yogurt idea

By on November 1, 2009 in lists, Uncategorized

I’ve been thinking a lot about how there are antibiotics, which are good for you according to doctors, and there are things which are probiotic, which are good for you according to people who hawk yogurt.

But see my whole life I’ve grown up with an awareness of antibiotics but this probiotic thing is something new and flashy and it sounds more like marketing than science.

So I was thinking that maybe everything anti should also have a pro version? For example:

Probodies

Procoagulant

Protidote

Profreeze

Promatter

Procipate

Proconvulsive

Naturally all of these will be sold in yogurt, so if you are any sort of yogurt proprietor (or antiprietor)  you should make room on your shelf!

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Fall back

By on October 31, 2009 in Uncategorized

We get an extra hour tomorrow right? If not, my calendar is lying to me and I’m going to have to give it a stern talking to.

Anyway, I can’t figure out what to do with my extra  hour! I could use it right away on something I wouldn’t normally do with my time, like work, or I could save it for a rainy day or maybe I should just put in the bank where it’ll accrue a few seconds every year and by the time I retire it’ll be about an hour and two minutes?

What are you guys going to do with yours?

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Let's talk about last night

By on October 29, 2009 in Uncategorized

Hey you guys. Last night’s live Ustream broadcast was super fun so if you missed it you are likely kicking yourself as well you should. Allow me to recap? First of all, it was amazing and I had a live in studio audience of stuffed animals as well as a live internet audience that was much larger than I’d expected. At times there were hundreds of people watching live at the same time and 4165 unique views for the broadcast. I think that’s pretty high but I’m not super versed in all this so if that number isn’t impressive do me a favor and quadruple it and then tell all your friends. (Just kidding. OR AM I?) (I am.)

We chatted with the lovely Diana Falzone who is hosting a Halloween party at Scores which is a strip club. We also named some inanimate objects including my portable desk fan. (We didn’t come to a consensus but Fanny and Blade were in the lead.) We chatted about my shirts, which also have names, and we talked about animals and animal names. We also talked about music and movies and we kicked some people out of the chat room which was pretty fun.

I was overjoyed to see familiar faces in the chat room and to meet all the new people.

Also, we learned how to say goodbye in Dutch. Goede Avond!

And I almost forgot: We were officially stumped by a Facts of Life trivia question but someone in the chat room knew the answer! That was fun. Do keep those questions coming.

If I had more time right now I would make little highlights of all the moments mentioned above however I don’t have that time right now but you can see everything in slightly less curated form here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/alison-rosen-live-show

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Question for you about Wednesday's live show

By on October 25, 2009 in The Daily Alison, video

Hey all of you. So as you may or may not know, which for the first time is striking me as redundant because hello, doesn’t “may” suggest there’s a possibility of “may not”? It isn’t “as you definitely know.” Anyway, as you sure as hell probably might know, I’m doing a live show on Ustream on Wednesday, Oct. 28 at 10pm Eastern time. You can RSVP here. (RSVPing as far as I can tell just indicates that you may or may not watch but I enjoy watching the number climb so you should totally RSVP.)

So here’s my question for you: Do you prefer when I have a guest or would you guys rather be alone with me? And if you prefer guests do you want to chat with people you’re familiar with like my dad, Trevor, Dustin or would you rather talk to various luminaries in the fields of automotives and health/wellness? Note: I know no such luminaries. Had the fields been aerospace and mechanical engineering this might be a different story. Or it might not be a different story. But you know what I mean. Assorted notables.

Also, and I really like Emily Blunt and John Krasinksi but in the photo below doesn’t look like they both just sucked on lemon wedges?

blunt

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If I drew cartoons for the New Yorker—in my sleep edition

By on October 24, 2009 in if I drew cartoons

So I used to do this recurring thing on Red Eye and also on this blog where I’d mention cartoons I’d draw if I drew cartoons for the New Yorker. They were always kind of purposefully lame with perhaps a wee ribbon of clever in them although really, there was no guarantee of clever. If there was a clever surprise in there you would feel fortunate but realize it was nothing to depend on. Sort of like when the results of any sort of blood test come back and you find out that you’re not dying, if you happen to be a hypochondriac which I’m not but I’ve known a lot of them, some of whom are still alive.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with the following in my head. It’s only semi-amusing if you realize that this was dream logic—it makes little sense in waking life.

Here is the cartoon.

I’m on a corner. A cat is, well, I just realized the cat is positioned “catty corner” (ugh, sometimes my dream brain is so cliche) and the cat has its paw extended as if giving me the right of way. The caption is, “And they say feline chivalry is dead.”

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My creative process; Michael Ian Black; my dream about underwear

By on October 22, 2009 in Michael Ian Black

Sometimes my creative thoughts sort of spin in place, kicking up an ever widening circle of brain dust, instead of moving forward. An example: the way I tend to write a bunch of beginnings of an article and then slowly work on more than one of them until the best one suddenly announces itself. Or the way I’m sitting here with numerous versions of the same section of a book proposal and instead of moving on to the next section I keep tinkering slightly with all of them. I tell myself it’s part of my creative process—because I’m creative and this is my process—and yet I wonder what it would be like if I didn’t do this? I imagine I’d have more time.

Last night while totally not wasting time on the internet I stumbled across this post by Michael Ian Black which I thought was fascinating. I identified with it enormously and thought he was brave to put it all into words. I had no idea he felt this way about his level of success—I think of him as someone’s who’s successful, hilarious, well-respected and who’s unquestionably “made it”—and yet upon reading this I realized how naive those initial thoughts were because everything in this business is relative and infinite and it’s incredibly hard to keep in mind anything you’ve achieved and derive satisfaction from it because by the time it hits you’re already thinking about how you should be on some other level or in some other realm.

I have more to say about this but in the interest of getting actual work done today instead I’ll tell you that last night I had a great dream where on my kitchen table was a bag of clean laundry—my laundry—it had been cleaned without my even having to take it to get cleaned! And while I’m sure this is about some deep shit possibly involving figurative “dirty laundry,” I also think it’s sad and funny that this was a great dream.

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