My dream of an outtake reel from the recent MINI shoot is dying on the vine, time constraints being what they are, so I thought I’d just tell you about what would have been on the reel. The reel that you’ll never see. Did I mention you won’t see it? Because you won’t.

1) Me doing a whole demonstration of how quiet the engine is and then ending it by making a joke about how it’s “one horsepower.” Then me driving away and then driving back into the frame and explaining that I was just joking, it’s “normal horsepower.” Then me driving away and driving back into the frame and saying to Ben that the damn take would have worked if only I hadn’t said that dumb thing about horsepower.

2) Me taking the battery charging plug that you’re supposed to plug into the car and plugging it into my hip and then jumping around as if I were getting electrocuted.

3) Me draping myself over the car in a mock provocative way a la car girls at car shows. (Mockvocative?)

4) Me asking Jim if the car emitted patchouli fumes. He said no. (That was in the video). But then I asked him if it emitted marshmallows, butterflies, rainbows or Nagchampa (“it’s a kind of incense” I explained)

There was more, but now I have a headache.