Author Archive | Alison Rosen

Wrong, you’ll be at the Apple Store in Soho where I’ll be moderating a live Q&A with David Schwimmer who you may know as Ross but who also directed Run Fatboy Run which is coming out next week. We’ll show clips and then talk about them. I’ll take questions from the audience. Michael Ian Black wrote the screenplay but he won’t be there as he’s in Vancouver apparently. God, just say you don’t want to go, don’t pretend to be in Canada I thought to myself as I dashed off an email that said “oh! have fun in Vancouver!”

Anyway, see you there unless you don’t live here in which case you should probably just do whatever you were planning on doing.

It turns red every evening between 5pm and 7pm. I’m not even kidding. Like blushing, but concentrated in my nose and cheeks. 5pm is also when I start drinking gin out of a paper bag under my desk. Do you think it’s a coincidence? I’m kidding about the drinking. Anyway, I pointed out the puffy redness to the Red Eye makeup lady and she said “you have a tan from California!” and I said “I don’t actually! My face just turns red sometimes!” I should have gone with the tan thing. Anyway, I bring this up because I’m in full Rudolph mode right now. If you saw me and you were in a car, you would slam on the brakes.

ever suspect those Snapple “real facts” are total bullshit?

To wit: real fact #124 “Seals sleep only one and a half minutes at a time.”

Really? I once napped with a seal and excuse me, but I think I would have noticed if he was up every 90 seconds.

I have not taken advantage of the extra hour of daylight to make hay or rotate my crops. Damnit!