My Ciccone story, out tomorrow in Page Six Magazine, got mentioned in The Miami Herald! Hooray!
Author Archive | Alison Rosen
If I drew cartoons
So I just now, just a few moments ago thought of ANOTHER idea for a New Yorker cartoon. I swear people, sometimes my mind is so fertile it’s scary. It’s like I have manure between my ears!
If I drew cartoons for The New Yorker I would draw one of a bunch of construction men loudly hammering a sign (or somehow installing a sign but clearly whatever they’re doing is making a gigantic racket) and the sign would say “Quiet Please.”
Frustrating things that smell
Hi blog readers. I'm writing this from the gym. I basically have to work all weekend and I was planning to work as long as I could today
Whoa, I have to interrupt my own post to say that a man just walked by me, actually I can't even be sure it was a man, it could have been an elk, and now I'm encased in a stench bubble the likes of which I haven't smelled since I was in Europe in a heat wave. Wow. It was kind of unreal. I may pass out.
Anyway, I was saying that I have to work but I decided to come to the gym because I'm all emotionally pent up and I figured coming here and choking on elk fumes would help.
I found out today that I didn't get a job I was hoping for that would have meant I'd be relocating for awhile. The funny thing is at first I saw relocating as a negative but the closer I got the more I began to think it might be nice to live in a lighthouse. It's unusual, for one, and once you get past the constant smell of seagulls and all the Pete's Dragon jokes I imagine it would be a fairly serene way to pass the time.
You're probably surprised that I even consider myself the lighthouse type, but I guess I surprise even myself when it comes to lighthouses. (Only when it comes to lighthouses. Otherwise I'm predictable.)
So it wasn't really a job in a lighthouse. But the good news is that now if any opportunities in lighthouses pop up, I'm free to pursue them.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
The worst sentence I've ever written
So I’m still transcribing but occasionally in the midst of transcribing I’ll quickly jot down a sentence or attribute a quote in a certain way. I just watched the following come out of me:
“Wow ambitious!” someone joshes jokingly.
Transcribing…
Is not my favorite way to pass time. In fact if I could have someone else transcribe for me without forfeiting the ”thoughts coming together” process that tends to happen while transcribing I would. Except today the only thoughts coming together involve how much I hate transcribing and how my apartment is a mess and loads of thoughts about apartments and moving and then some thoughts about other websites I could be visiting and hey, is my butt asleep? I’m kind of thirsty. Is it cold in here? I wonder if anyone’s left me any comments lately. Is my phone next to me? I think I left it on vibrate. I have headphones in and what if someone calls me and I don’t hear it because I don’t hear the vibrating. Yeah, I’m kind of thirsty. Maybe I should make sure I have that file of stuff pertaining to this article that I’ll need to refer to later. Am I just procrastinating? Of course I am. God I hate transcribing.
Once again Shamrock has given me the gift of me
Last night on Red Eye Andy asked if I’d come up with any more New Yorker cartoons in my mind and I mentioned this one. The awesome Shamrock made this and posted it on The Activity Pit. Now, I should say that despite the way I titled this post he didn’t actually give ME the gift of me. He gave all of YOU the gift of me and for that you are thankful. (for the explanation of this one… because good cartoons need explanation of course… watch the video below or read the “if I drew cartoons” thread.
Clips from last night's Red Eye
And for the record, I don’t believe in corporal punishment in any form.
Fox & Friends & syrup
If you’re like me then you love seeing me on TV. Good news: I’ll be back on Fox & Friends this Sunday doing the Fast Forward segment. It’ll probably be at 9:45am but that could change so please check my blog every hour on the hour if not more frequently and ask all your friends to do the same.
In other news, I’ve become a fan of this:
It’s very low-calorie somewhat artificial tasting weird consistency maple syrup. I like to pour a blob of it in a cup and then stir in a packet of Splenda and then put it in the freezer and make a little syrup puck which tastes sort of like maple and sort of like a hockey puck.
I think like a meteorologist
At least, that’s the conclusion I drew after Rick Reichmuth and I almost made each other’s points repeatedly on Red Eye tonight. You may not be able to tell because we each switched gears upon hearing the other one make the point we were about to make, but that’s what was going on behind the scenes. It was uncanny. Also, there was a lot of rain.
Good news, I'm a hypochondriac
So get this! Ol‘ numero 30 (I had it wrong, it was 30 not 29) is fine! Ship shape! A-okay! The dentist who was 112 but very nice blew cold air on it and banged it with an instrument and even x-rayed it and everything’s going gangbusters for that little molar. Apparently he thinks it was just tooth sensitivity! JUST TOOTH SENSITIVITY! He even felt my glands and listened to my jaw with a stethoscope. He also complimented my bite a few times and I thought he was nearly going to jump out of his chair with delight when I mentioned retainers in passing. Did I bring them, he wanted to know. Regrettably I didn’t, I had to tell him, and at the time I was like “yeah, how silly of me not to have brought my retainers!” however now that I’m back home and away from shelves of plaster teeth moldings and more diplomas and awards and honors than you can imagine, including an autographed picture from Frank Sinatra and some shots of the Pope (he’s a very decorated dentist. Perhaps he invented retainers), it’s occurring to me that I never would have thought to bring them. In fact, the last time I took them anywhere was when I first got them and left them (in their case) in the car of this guy I had a crush on which made me want to die. Sadly, that wouldn’t be the most embarrassing item I’d leave behind.