I mean, while I’m posting photos of small cute things…
Author Archive | Alison Rosen
Baby manatee break
I received a request for a baby manatee and as I don’t have the time to give birth right now, I thought I’d just post this photo.
Time for a duckling break
Adorable, but this picture is too small.
Also adorable and also too small.
This duckling break has really been more of a duckling tease than anything.
Actually, I kind of like Postum
When you’re a little kid and you go to Las Vegas for family vacations—which isn’t all that fun, by the way, though Circus Circus is/was mindblowing—you drink this or tomato juice. Gawker says it’s coming back. I didn’t realize it went away. I think there’s probably a 25 year old jar of it in my parents’ cupboard.
I'm a thief
As a writer and delightful bon vivant I’m always worried about unintentionally ripping someone off. I’ve talked about this with other writers and whenever a particular word or phrase flies off your fingertips too easily it’s suspect. For example, I recall “alluring down-turned smile” once coming out of me and then wondering where it came from because it didn’t really sound like me.
Anyway! Remember when I wrote that whole good news and bad news post? Titled I Blame Denver? Well I went to Wendy’s blog tonight and looks like she had the good news/bad news construct cornered way before I did. I feel so… stealthy.
Yes, that’s right, I’ll say it. I am proud that I’m stealing. You think I’m going to live by your rules? By society’s rules? I don’t think so. I name my plants and I steal from my friends. It’s just who I am.
Ducklings de-stress me
From Cute Overload.
I am stressed!
Again with the stress. If fear and anxiety were a pinball and my body were a pinball machine, someone would be racking up a lot of points playing me because that ball is zinging around, bouncing off my spleen and ricocheting off my ileum and then getting caught in my pancreas where you think it’s lost and then it pops out again and stuff lights up and now there’s two balls zipping around! No two ball jokes, please.
See, I was feeling fairly on top of stuff because yesterday went well and so I could stop stressing about that and then today I made a to-do list and it wasn’t as scary as I thought but then I found out that I may have to do an on-air interview late next week which is when I’d planned on moving and somehow that’s toppling my whole house-of-cards-of-calm feeling I’d built out of this deck of 52 Bicycles, which is a kind of card, not actual bikes because there’s no way I could build a house out of actual bikes! I’d get covered in gearshift oil! I’d smell like tires!
I wish I had a desktop zen garden with a small waterfall and little bonsai tree. I need some kind of desktop de-stresser.
I blame Denver
Well I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I won’t be on Red Eye on Monday because there won’t be Red Eye on Monday because of the conventions. The good news is that there’s a bruise on my left arm which, if you look at the underside of my arm you can see the vein and the bruise is kinda smack in the middle of veinville (which sounds like a disgusting porno location, doesn’t it?) and so it looks like an oil spill in the middle of the road, under my skin, but it’s getting smaller. The bad news is that I can’t have pets in my new place. The good news is that I’m going to be hosting the video component of this big festival in New York that’s going to be bringing together a bunch of cool bands and filmmakers and design people and DJs and I’ll be interviewing them and whatnot, on camera, so if you’re needing your fix of me which, let’s face it, YOU ARE, you will be able to get that next month for ten days, more than once a day. The bad news is that I’m sleepy. The good news is that I may even be doing yoga on video for the first time ever. The bad news is that I won’t be able to keep a straight face. The good news is that I really enjoy hosting and this will give me a chance to really flex my host muscle. The bad news is that I pulled my host muscle carrying groceries and man does it ache. The good news is that host muscle weighs more than fat, but it’s more dense, so you might be losing inches. The bad news is that there’s no good TV on tonight.
I feel like I had more and better good and bad news, but it just didn’t come together as I’d hoped.
To do
I just had the following thought: "Ugh, there's so much I have to do… Wait, actually, I'm doing it." I'm at a photoshoot for a story due Friday which I need to get done before I can really begin packing and dealing with moving stuff. Thus far the anticipation of everything has been worse then the actual everything, today is going well, but I'm afraid to commit that to blog lest I jinx it.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
What the hell, Norm MacDonald?
New commenter Sean asked for my reaction to Norm MacDonald’s set last night on the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget and the funny thing is that I was planning on writing something about it anyway, that’s how in sync we all are, blog readers. Doesn’t it make you believe in magic? Magic and… coincidence? We are SO on the same wavelength unless we just happened to be thinking the same thing.
Anyway, so vexed was I by Norm’s confounding set that I took to the internet earlier today and it seems opinion is pretty divided. Norm MacDonald is such a lightning rod! I think he was doing anti-comedy, deliberately, which explains his dad-from-My-Three-Sons persona when he was sitting on the dais reading a newspaper and seeming earnestly-though-frustratingly oblivious to what was going on. I wanted to shake him. Look alive, Norm! I would have yelled.
I laughed at the cauliflower joke, especially when he began explaining the jokes. I thought it was funny, but in general I prefer comedy to anti-comedy. But I thought it was sweet when Bob Saget teared up at the end of his set.