Is Brooklyn Allergy Garden funnier? Brooklyn pollen garden? Histaminoligical society? Snifflemark status?
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Author Archive | Alison Rosen
The Pocket Clowns
Back when I worked at the OC Weekly we’d do a joke issue on April Fools. One year we put a fake band, The Pocket Clowns, on the cover. I wrote a follow up piece the next year. This is that story. Some of the humor is local and time-specific but some of it holds, I think:
http://www.ocweekly.com/2000-04-06/music/send-in-the-clowns/
Some shots from Friday's Red Eye
Here I am in the green room just being all ravishing and stuff.
And then here I am in the newsroom where I was seated for the first couple blocks of the show.
“Blocks,” that’s real TV talk. Did I lose you? No? Let me try harder: camera. top of the show. makeup. um… lights… uh… er… um… wait, come back in a few minutes. I need to think more about this.
Still in the newsroom.
Yep, newsroom.
NEWSROOM!
And then I came into the studio and made this face.
And then apparently I laughed so hard my left eyeball popped out.
Before and After phrases that will never appear on Wheel of Fortune
Save the date rape
All of a sudden infant death syndrome
Out of the blue balls
Studying for the big final solution
Have mercy killing
You’re golden showers
Not my cup of tea bagging
Moby Dick Head
Diana and I talked about her radio show and her favorite curse word.
I may have done a horrible James Lipton impression.
Episode 2: The Biffnies
Another video! Diana and me after Paltalk
And here’s one of Diana and me after Paltalk.
Clips from Paltalk with Diana Falzone
Did you miss my appearance on Paltalk? Sure you did. Have you been crying ever since? Yes you have! Do you enjoy when I ask you questions and then answer them for you? Affirmative! Do you want to hear about my hormones today? No you don’t! Was that TMI? TOTALLY! Are you uncomfortable with where this is going? Pretty much, yes.
In that case I’ll just post this:
things for your thing
So I’m at the drugstore buying Spenda tablets which I switched to from packets because they’re easier to melt down and turn into bathtub methamphetamine when I overhear one of the cashiers repeatedly saying to the other one, “What flavor do you got? What flavor do you got?” I have my head down because I’m paying with my ATM card and I’m typing in the code on the little LCD screen but the insistent way she’s asking is not unlike how I pester my sister when I ask her a question and she doesn’t answer. Mind you, I’m the older one.
Anyway, so she’s asking the other cashier what flavor hers is and I’m imagining they’re talking about Jolly Ranchers or sports drinks. That’s what I’m picturing.
“You always carry it in your purse?” asks the cashier. At this point I look up and see the other one holding this, clearly embarrassed:
“You spray it on your thing…” she hisses.
My interview with Michael Showalter, ep 1
So I took down the previous version and put this one up instead. It’s still processing so give it a little while before clicking. I think it’s more watchable. I might put the other one up again though. I don’t know. I’m unpredictable. Trying to catch me is like trying to catch a wave upon the sand.