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Author Archive | Alison Rosen

A deep thought about Mad Men

Have you ever seen those studies where a bunch of words are on a page but they’re missing the vowels or missing every third letter or missing all the letter inside the word or something but still it’s pretty easy to make out the meaning and the whole thing is to illustrate that we only need bits of information and our brains will fill in the rest?

I was thinking about this last night while watching Mad Men. I’m admittedly a latecomer to the show, but if I had to describe it in a word it’s elliptical. And then I started to think that I should try to describe all TV shows in one word and I should start a one-word review web site and then I realized that I’ll probably never do this and I’d rather spend time developing my brilliant cologne that comes in a cell phone shaped bottle called ConeXXXion idea. Don’t steal that idea, folks, unless you want to be a billionaire!

Anyway, most of the time while watching Mad Men I go back and forth between “huh?” and “what?” and yet I’m hooked. Probably more so than if I understood what I was watching.

And it’s probably silly not to mention Lost in this post however I’m silly, you guys!

(Joel Stein wrote a tweet that said “I am still watching Mad Men, but I am no longer understanding Mad Men”) which is what made me remember all this today. Although perhaps he meant it in a less literal sense. Hm.

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About that show I did in Canada and a note about stand up

Switch

Here I am, totally unaware someone is taking a photo

It’s called Switch and it premieres tomorrow on TVTropolis at 9:30pm. I did six episodes and I’m not sure the order they’re airing them so I’m not sure if I’m in tomorrow’s episode. Here are more photos from the set.

Oh and a note about the Oct. 4 stand up gig at this year’s Funniest Reporter show. I thought it was at Gotham Comedy Club but it’s at Comic Strip Live. Write it on your hand!

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Trader Joe's leaves me holding the bag

Ho, ho! Get it? Get my clever headline? It’s not that clever. Anyway.

these came first

Why is it that these taste better than eggs I make myself?  Is it because they’re “hard cooked,” which sounds elegant and mysterious and kind of British as opposed to hard boiled which just sounds mundane? Is it because, if this bag of hard cooked eggs could speak it would say, “Hey asshole, you can make me at home for a fraction of the cost. That is, if you can bear the struggle of turning on a stove and peeling some shells. Now put me back in the boot of your car, mate.” Maybe.

But see, they have a rubbery texture that I actually like that I can’t achieve when I boil eggs at home. Plus boiling eggs on a stove leads to a farty smelling kitchen versus limiting the fart smell to a bag. They should really include that in their advertising.

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I almost crawled to the bathroom

Mind if I share too much information? I didn’t think so.

So I woke up in the middle of the night sure of two things. 1) I needed to pee. 2) I needed to pee NOW. I wasn’t aware of the third thing, which was that my right leg was totally asleep until I attempted to use it and instead of moving forward, as often happens when you walk, I just sort of stayed in one place and all sorts of weird pins and needles shot around and it was so uncomfortable I couldn’t move. So then I stood there in the dark pinned to the ground but also pretty sure I was going to pee on my leg. I think I might have said “Oh no” a couple times. So then I did what I had to do–there was NO TIME to wait for my leg to wake up– which was basically drag my leg around the apartment hoping I’d make it to the bathroom in time, which I did, but I’m still giving my right leg the silent treatment this morning for not being there for me at such a crucial time.

UPDATE: My leg still feels funny. It just told two knock knock jokes, neither of which were hilarious but I laughed anyway. Sometimes it’s just easier, you know?

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I don't know how I feel about this

foursquare

Click to enlarge

(I announced on Twitter that I was the “Mayor of not being on @foursquare,” because foursquare is a program where if you go to a location a bunch of times you can become that location’s “mayor” and all the web people in NYC are on foursquare and etc and then fellow Pomona alum Jonathan Vanasco (@2xlp on twitter) said that he was going to make me a location on foursquare and become the mayor of me. AND HE DID!

(Note: that’s not my address, btw)

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Dads are the next hot trend

dadtobey

You know what’s a hot trend right now? Dads. I am basing this on two things: 1) everyone LOVES the episodes of The Daily Alison featuring my dad. 2) some guy on twitter is totally copying me and writing down crazy shit his dad says and tweeting it under the name @shitmydadsays and everyone’s talking about it and he has a zillion followers.

Ok so perhaps he’s not copying me, but I mean, he’s not NOT copying me.

So when all the other people start writing about how dads are the next hot thing and dads are a meme and all that, please remember that you read it here first. I INVENTED dads, you guys. Before I came along it was all single parent households and moms and I was like, “Hey, I have an idea, lets get some dads all up in here,” and then fast forward to now where they are so popular they even have their own holiday. Plus, you can put many words in front the words dad and father to add shades of meaning which shows that the mere notion of male parents is infiltrating culture. Some examples?

Absentee

Deadbeat

Rad

Ducklike

Drunk

Abusive

Negligent

Funky

But wait you guys, you can also add words AFTER the words father and dad. I’m telling you, there’s no stopping dads. They are here to stay! Check it out. Apply the following words and phrases after dad or father:

of the year

of the bride

knows best

doesn’t live here anymore

left, but it’s not your fault

moved out, but it is your fault

drinks a lot

is drunk again

is so silly!

is taking a nap. shhhh.

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