Full disclosure: I’m friends with Hugh
Fuller disclosure: I’ve interviewed Tracy Morgan
Even fuller disclosure: I don’t really like blueberries
Fullest disclosure: But strangely I went through a phase where I was drinking blueberry flavored coffee. (It exists!) I’m kind of over it though.
Author Archive | Alison Rosen
I'm that person who puts dog photos on my blog
Here’s Tobey on my mom’s lap in Brooklyn. We were at a cafe called Provence en Boite. Tobey affected a French accent which is so like him.
The Daily Alison (Ep. 109, Where my parents are coming to Brooklyn)
Answers to questions you may or may not be asking
Hi! I’ll post video from the stand up show as soon as I have it and no, I didn’t make any jokes about men who masturbate near salad bars. It was all new material. Also, I will post more Daily Alison videos and live ustream shows soon too. My parents are here and it’s making all scheduling near impossible and I’m turning into a child. I’m surprised I’ve ever done anything adult by myself.
I’m pretty sure I had other things to say but I forget what they are now. I’ll ask my mom.
Another photo from last night's NY Funniest Reporter show
Back row (L to R): Ed Condron (AM New York), Robert George (NY Post), Nikki Egan (MSNBC), Noelle Hancock, me, Rob Hoell (WPIX), Comic Strip Live owner (I think)
Front (L to R): Carole Montgomery (festival producer), Lori Harfenist (The Resident), Marianne Schaburg (CNN, Good Housekeeping TV)
Ok so I was having fun posting only the terrible photos of me from last night however it lost its fun pretty quickly. I’m so fickle when it comes to me. Sometimes I’ll have a long conversation with myself and then wait for me to say something and then realize I wasn’t even listening.
Anyway, here’s a photo from last night. Marianne Schaburg (bottom right) won 1st place. Noelle Hancock (to the left of me) won 2nd place. Taryn Winter Brill who isn’t in this photo won 3rd. And I wasn’t competing, I was just performing, as you well know since I won’t shut up about it.
Did I mention I only take good photos?
I look like I received bad news and then smeared it on the right side of my face.
Photos!
Here I am shooting a top secret project near the Flatiron building.
Here’s Tobey being cute.
Here’s Tobey still being cute.
Here’s Tobey blinking.
Here’s my new plant being cute.
The Daily Alison (Ep. 108, Me, Myself and Ye)
The Alison Rosen Live Show which is like The Daily Alison but longer and looser, sorta
Here’s yesterday’s live show on ustream if you missed it. Pretty soon I’ll be doing these shows in fancy hi-def but for now here’s unfancy regular def.
Frozen dairy disaster
DANGER!
Last night I decided to make myself a fancy frozen treat by putting a swirl of fat-free Reddiwip, which is only 5 calories a serving or, to more accurately reflect how one consumes it, 200 calories for a whole can, onto a spoon and then putting the spoon in the freezer. I made two of these ingenious frozen pops. “That will be a delightful treat when I get home later!” I told myself with no inkling of the disaster that awaited me.
“Ooh look! A fancy frozen treat! Yay for me!” I thought as I threw open the freezer door when I got home. Then I put a spoon in my mouth and before I had a chance to really realize what was happening my tongue adhered to the bottom of the spoon. I think some of my lip was attached too. It was all very Christmas Story. I should have poured water into my mouth which I think is how you detach from frozen metal however I now know that when you are stuck to something very cold your instinct is to pull away which is what I did. “Wow, that was horrible!” I thought, rethinking my snacking options since clearly I was going to be compromised in the taste department. I figured my tongue was just a little sore, probably from the coldness, but the pain wasn’t going away and actually was intensifying. Eventually I looked in the mirror and saw that my tongue was covered in a light smattering of blood.
This just proves something I already suspected: the only safe way to eat whipped cream is to squirt it directly from the can into your mouth.