Thanksgiving live blog

I’ve decided to live blog Thanksgiving which means I’m going to post a couple things and then forget about it.

Because I’ve only been slapped upside the head by inspiration right now, after a morning rich with happenings, I will have to recap for what led up to right now even though that goes against the whole point of a live blog. Also, who talks like that? Me apparently.

So I woke up early and watched the opening credits of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade at which point I realized that I wasn’t making an appearance this year. Again! Then some stuff  happened and then my sister and I went to the store which required multiple cell phone calls to each other because we kept losing one another which is funny since the store isn’t that big. I think she was trying to ditch me.

Then we got home and played a rousing game of, “What would Tobey be saying if he could speak.”

And this is what’s happening now:

I’m reminded of this, the probing interview with my mom about turkey from Thanksgiving a few years ago. Now perhaps you’re clicking that link and thinking I only blogged for Time Out New York but actually I was an editor and writer there for many years and launched their blog in addition to working in the music section then the features section and then helming the Hot Seat section. I tell you this because sometimes I worry people think I’m some substance-less floozy who appears on TV and does fuck-all and the truth is that I’ve only become that recently. I used to be respectable. And also it used to be that if you google me 8 zillion things I’d written would pop up and  now it’s just silly videos and stuff which take over the first few pages of the search results which is totally fine but I  just want to sit here overcompensating and thinking about myself because that is what Thanksgiving is made for.

I’m spinning in place. Someone snap me out of this.

Also, how can I be grateful when I’m sitting here suffering a wedgie?

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Ok, now I’m wondering if I should be putting the new stuff at the top of this post or the bottom? It’s as if I never live blogged.

My mom walked in with a question about salad. I told  her that I was busy blogging and to get in touch when the madness of the holiday season dies down.

Also I spent some time reading old Thanksgiving posts on my blog and really grappling with whether what I was reading happened in 2008 or 2009. Is it possible my blog has mixed up the dates? Basically 2008 and 2009 are different in ways too imperceptible for my brain to process. This can’t be good.

Wait, update: I was just reading the date wrong on my blog because I’m an idiot.

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Now my bride-to-be sister is making me look at pictures of dresses online. I watched an entire bridal fashion show. “I don’t have 13  minutes to watch a bridal fashion show,” I declared before spending 13 minutes watching a bridal fashion show. I also was force fed some images of various bridesmaid dresses. And then there was a very slow loading slideshow involving other bridal stuff but my mom interrupted to ask my sister for help locating the beets at which point I planned my escape. “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back,” said my sister as I gnawed my leg off. Not because there was anything holding down my leg, I was just hungry.

I should add that I am very excited my sister is getting married and looking forward to it however there are few things I enjoy viewing over someone’s shoulder at a computer and pretty quickly I begin to feel held hostage. I could probably even tire of looking at pictures of ME on the computer over someone’s shoulder. It’s hard to believe.

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Whew. Things almost came to loggerheads regarding which can of cream of mushroom soup to use for the green bean casserole. Finally we compromised and used half of each can. Then I let my sister know in no uncertain terms that the way she cut the beans wasn’t pleasing her highness, which is me. This was the conversation:

Me: You have to cut the beans.

My sister: I did.

Me: [looking back and forth between the beans and my sister with a look of disgust/disappointment]

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Reading People magazine and you guys, get this: I’d completely forgotten Billy Baldwin and Chynna Phillips were together! This changes everything! (It changes  nothing.)

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I  just encountered a LOT of static cling. And apparently  I’m on the Biography Channel right now. Not sure which Bio.

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Here’s a table shot showcasing the makeshift centerpiece—a squash given to me by Robin who was on the extended gal chat segment on my show recently,