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Did you miss me?

Did you? Because I sure missed you. I missed you so much that I added the paypal donate button to its own page. I realize that logic is tenuous and you might not realize how my offering you a chance to donate money to me is a sign of how much I miss you but you see, I work in mysterious ways. Just go with it. In exchange for your donations I promise to keep being funny and delightful. Perhaps I could sweeten the deal by promising never to sing? Never to make you eat meringues? Never to cheat on you with other readers? I’m joking however I’m going to start offering media training, speech writing and public speaking coaching services so if you know anyone who needs help getting ready for an engagement, send them my way!

In other news I’m very sleepy and I need to write my McSweeney’s column and last night I ate some shrimp that had heads on them. I removed the heads before eating them but still. Actually, I have more to tell you about the shrimp heads and dinner and a realization I had on the way home which involves retainers but I think I’ll save that for the candlelit dinner I plan to have with all of you tomorrow morning.

I love you.

Do you think that’s a good breezy sign off? I think so too. Or should I go with something more casual like:

Don’t leave me!

It’s cheerful, right? Ends on an up note?

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12 Responses to Did you miss me?

  1. alisonrosen May 18, 2009 at 10:17 am #

    test. I'm commenting on my own post. hi everyone!

  2. Alison Rosen May 18, 2009 at 9:17 am #

    test. I’m commenting on my own post. hi everyone!

  3. Trap May 18, 2009 at 1:48 pm #

    This isn't exactly the way I'd always dreamed of being told “I love you”, but I guess I'll take it.

    I really need to get out more.

  4. Brett Jones May 18, 2009 at 11:37 am #

    Miss you? Yes.

    Feel discombobulated by the new site? Yes.

    Watching my dog chase his tail? Yes.

    No having anything witty to say, but feeling compelled to say it? Yes.

  5. Trap May 18, 2009 at 12:48 pm #

    This isn’t exactly the way I’d always dreamed of being told “I love you”, but I guess I’ll take it.

    I really need to get out more.

  6. Stickeenotes May 18, 2009 at 4:41 pm #

    You should take a page from Josh Freese and offer unique packages for donations. 10 dollars gets a pet name given by The Alison Rosen. 25 dollars gets an interesting anecdote on a signed picture of The Alison Rosen, etc ..

  7. Stickeenotes May 18, 2009 at 3:41 pm #

    You should take a page from Josh Freese and offer unique packages for donations. 10 dollars gets a pet name given by The Alison Rosen. 25 dollars gets an interesting anecdote on a signed picture of The Alison Rosen, etc ..

  8. Alexander James May 18, 2009 at 11:55 pm #

    “I love you” gets my vote.
    But then again “Don't leave me!” really shows you care.

  9. Alexander James May 18, 2009 at 10:55 pm #

    “I love you” gets my vote.
    But then again “Don’t leave me!” really shows you care.

  10. robert May 19, 2009 at 11:56 am #

    Why buy the cow if the milk is free?
    Because, speaking metaphorically and in no way meaning disrespect, you are compelled to show support of the cow's efforts, even though there are people and causes far more deserving than the cow, like the guy that makes his living picking bottles out of the trash that you pass every day, what's he ever done for you? Those poor orphans that you never give money to, they've never made you laugh.
    So buy the cow a latte, you.

  11. robert May 19, 2009 at 10:56 am #

    Why buy the cow if the milk is free?
    Because, speaking metaphorically and in no way meaning disrespect, you are compelled to show support of the cow’s efforts, even though there are people and causes far more deserving than the cow, like the guy that makes his living picking bottles out of the trash that you pass every day, what’s he ever done for you? Those poor orphans that you never give money to, they’ve never made you laugh.
    So buy the cow a latte, you.

  12. robert May 19, 2009 at 6:56 pm #

    Why buy the cow if the milk is free?
    Because, speaking metaphorically and in no way meaning disrespect, you are compelled to show support of the cow's efforts, even though there are people and causes far more deserving than the cow, like the guy that makes his living picking bottles out of the trash that you pass every day, what's he ever done for you? Those poor orphans that you never give money to, they've never made you laugh.
    So buy the cow a latte, you.

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