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The Diamond as Big as The Jitney

ME: Have you been to the Hamptons?
DUSTIN: never, actually
ME: I have to go out there for a story on Saturday
and I’m trying to figure out the best way to get out there
DUSTIN: are there multiple ways?
ME: yeah. either LIRR, renting a car or taking the Jitney which for some reason I don’t want to take
DUSTIN: it’s not an inviting name
ALISON: no
it sounds like goiter
DUSTIN: it makes me think of a clattery train through India
ME: yeah
like The Rickshaw
DUSTIN: that would have no ac in 100-degree summers
and like, rail ties missing and stuff
ME: there would be stories of cannibalism
DUSTIN: The Cannibal On The Jitney
that’s an award-winning short story waiting to happen
it’s about upper middle class ennui

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0 Responses to The Diamond as Big as The Jitney

  1. Rbastid August 6, 2008 at 9:54 am #

    They allow Jitney’s out to LI? Figured it was your car (which must be documented and approved by the LI board of not wanting a 1994 toyota driving around) or the train.

    Just stay away from any strange looking men who look like they may have just eaten someone, less we forget them Canadian buses.

  2. Ted from Accounting August 6, 2008 at 11:36 am #

    “The Cannibal On The Jitney”

    Could you make this a love story?

    Thanks to Dustin for once again making me feel as though my vocabulary skills are inadequate.

    Ennui is a word meaning general disinterest or boredom, or depression.

  3. Joe August 6, 2008 at 12:05 pm #

    I know a young woman who’s traveled a lot in Central America, mostly Guatamala I think. She used to tell me about the buses they have in the rural areas and small, older towns. They’re called Chicken Buses for some reason, probably because people get on them carrying all kinds of animals and livestock. That’s how people get around since most of them don’t have cars.

    The buses are all old and really banged up with most of the windows cracked or missing. They’re sweltering in the summer with bad smells eminating from people who are missing lots of teeth. Now THAT’S my idea of a good time!

  4. Toddrod August 6, 2008 at 12:29 pm #

    The Jitney sounds like a condensed version of JC Witney, and I only imagine a big place to buy car accessories.

    Toddrod

  5. Brett Jones August 6, 2008 at 12:53 pm #

    At first I was dismayed that there was yet another man in AMR’s life who’s name was not Brett Jones, but Dustin’s wit won me over in the end.

    Like Ted I was also forced to hit dictionary.com to look up ennui. The best people are the ones that teach you something. Thanks Dustin.

    AMR, can’t you just hire a town car and charge it to some big magazine/new paper expense account?

  6. Toddrod August 6, 2008 at 1:34 pm #

    Hey Alison? I notice that you will be on Red Eye next week. When you say that you will be on “Wed, August 13” does that mean you will be on Tuesday/Wednesday? or Wednesday/Thursday? For some reason this always confuses me.

    Toddrod

  7. Ted from Accounting August 6, 2008 at 10:51 pm #

    Ok, I’m so uber drunk right now! But Ro Ro, on my MS page, there is a pic of “Crush” Carano in her Gladiator outfit….FYI, you two could be twins in relation to that photo! HOT!

    I’ll regret this post in the morning but Oh well! LOL

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