Just yesterday I said I was going to write about baby spoons today and here I am about to write about baby spoons. The productivity and sticktoitiveness that’s dripping from my every pore and puddling at my feet creating a potential for mildew and slipping is simply astounding. I’m like a human lifehack and at this rate I will be tasting the fruits of blogging success in no time.
So anyway, when it came time to purchase spoons with which to feed my baby, I went onto Amazon and bought the bestseller. I bought these Munchkin Soft-Tipped Infant Spoons and they can suck a dick. Good thing I have a million of them.
Dick Sucking Spoons
The handle looks like a toothbrush but it’s not the handle’s optics (we’re all using that word now, right? It feels ON TREND) that really piss me off, it’s the way the handle is weighted weirdly so if you place the spoon in a smallish or shallow bowl of baby food—which they all are—or God forbid a baby food jar and walk a few feet like say from the counter where you’re preparing the food to the high chair where your baby is sitting the fucking spoon can’t be cool and freaks out and hurls itself overboard, launching bits of baby food all over your kitchen or your living room if you’re dumb enough to try to feed your baby in the living room which I was until these spoons made me rethink everything.
And don’t even think about setting the spoon on the edge of the bowl which you will be tempted to do mid-feed because that spoon is slimy and probably sticky so where pray-tell are you going to set it down for just a second while you grab something? NOT ON THE EDGE OF THE BOWL because it will wobble dangerously and then catapult oatmeal onto your curtains. Also, the business end of the spoon is very deep which isn’t ideal for little mouths that are just learning how to get food off a spoon but I didn’t realize that was problematic until, frustrated, I bought these spoons:
They’re the Munchkin 6 Piece Lift Infant Spoons and I bought them because you can set them down and the spoon head (for real, what is the spoon part of the spoon called? The shovel?) doesn’t touch the table. But then they arrived and I worried the spoon head (see previous parenthetical) was too big and flattish so I continued to use the awful spoons until I decided what’s the worst that could happen if these spoons are too big and suddenly it was so much easier for Elliot to get the food off the spoon since he doesn’t have to commit to an archeological dig to find the food.
So there you have it. Honestly thinking of returning to blogging about nothing however I had strong feelings about spoons and needed to get them off my chest.