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Fuck You, Penguin

Does something bloom at about 10pm in NYC because this is the second night in a row my allergies are acting up at night. And by 10pm I guess I mean what feels like 9pm. In fact when I sneeze it’s really a nine o’clock type sneeze. It sounds like the theme song to Grey’s Anatomy, not Perfect Practice, if you know what I’m saying which I doubt you do. It also sounds like Frasier which I’m pretty sure was on at 9pm at some point. Maybe?

So why am I writing about my 9pm-but-it-was-really-10pm sneezes at three-in-the-morning- which-is-really-two-in-the-morning? Because my friend Scott who is a super duper computer guru helped me with some stuff and took control of my screen and said “Are you sick?” (we were ichatting with audio which I didn’t realize was a viable option because I’m still living in the past of one hour ago) and I explained that no, I’m just experiencing the kind of allergies one has when cats spontaneously bloom at 10pm. Cats and dust apparently. And those dander bushes, too. But the computer stuff took awhile. And then I wasted time doing I’m not even sure what.

So I’m tired is what I’m saying. And stuffed up.

You can read about it here: http://alisonandwendy.tumblr.com/

Also, I’m really finding those sets of teeth in that ad below to be both distracting and kind of gross!

I just cracked open an egg and the white of the egg is kind of orangish/brownish tinged. I wonder what this means? It doesn’t smell rotten. Anyway, if I die I’ll let you guys know.

Also, iMovie is seizing up on me. How am I supposed to make a slow motion flashback sequence if I can’t get the thing to save slow motion? Also not saving? Sepia tone. I should just rub egg white all over it.

Except it isn’t really egg white. It’s egg brown/yellow. You know?

Did I already mention I’m hating the ads? Totally hating them. I think they’re not long for this blog so click the hell out of them if you’re feeling fidgety because I think I’m going to have to send them to the virtual trash bin in the sky.

As of today I’m kind of hating the ads. I feel like my blog is a human pop up! Except it’s not human and it’s not a pop up. But you know what I mean.

I think so, right? (Also, I felt kind of silly about having a google blogs alert set for my name until I realized how common that is among people who are obsessed with themselves.)

Also, kinda hating my earrings from last night!

See those ugly ads? And that fugly search box to the right? And that donate button? I would like to make a living doing what I love—thinking about myself and sometimes blogging and recording videos—and so I’m trying to get on this monetizing money train.

How do I feel about this? Well first of all I hate the word monetize. It’s not even word! It’s like “Hey, I’m going to obnoxiate right now. Then I’m going to showerize and maybe later I’ll conversate.”

But yeah, times are tough and so this blog must suffer. Care to click on all those ads? Do it!

In other news, I’m on Red Eye tonight. I’m going to paste ads all over myself.

I mean nerds affectionately, by the way. So does anyone know how to put technorati and digg tags at the bottom of each post so that people can digg and technorati and whatever else I should have them do? Because I’m not sure that Share This button is really achieving the kind of communist ideal of blog sharing that I’m going for. And by that I mean when I write a post I think it should belong to everyone and should be instantly disseminated and loved by all. Like Animal Farm. All blog posts are equal but some are more equal than others. I realize that made no sense.

Anyway, I turn to you guys because I love you and want you to enjoy the fruits of my laziness plus inquisitiveness.

Also I was sick last night so I didn’t vlog as I said I would but don’t you worry, I’m going to Q&A vlog soon. Probably tonight.