Thanks to Chris M for tipping me off to this very special Red Eye moment from June or so.
Archive | Red Eye
UPDATE: I'LL BE ON RED EYE TONIGHT
You’ll be watching, right? RIGHT?!?!
Clip from Red Eye
Recent Red Eye shots
I sat in the seat that Ann Coulter was in moments before. I was going to make some kind of “oh, so this is where you stick all us skinny conservative women” joke but then didn’t find an opening that made sense. Instead I made a tasteful Michael Hutchence joke. It was necessary though. And quite topical.
I'll be on Red Eye tonight
What’s delightfully last-minute-esque and smells an awful lot like awesome? It’s the fact that I’ll be on Red Eye tonight for the second half of the show. Cancel your 2am plans and make these ones instead. I’ll be following Ann Coulter. Because she refused to follow me. (It’s conceivable that I made that up).
This one's like the one below, only with the tease at the beginning
It sounded less tawdry in my head, I swear!
The segment formerly knows as "bawdy language"
Here I am talking about how I play sports on Red Eye
UPDATE: NOW WITH VIDEO! cheese logs, vienna sausages, soap dispensers
Friday’s Red Eye intros hit a new pinnacle of absurdity and some of the guests couldn’t stop laughing. Of all the horribly wrong things I’ve had a hand in writing, I think I’m most proud of these. Actually, that’s a huge statement, so maybe I should rethink it, since when I die I’d really rather not have “she’s so smart if brains were a cheese log, I’d pick at her nuts” on my tombstone. Is it bad luck to wonder what your epitaph will be? I recall a conversation where I was pressed to answer and I said “she liked words [long pause]… more than people.” Anyway, off to paint my fingernails black and write free verse in my diary. And that brings me to another intro which probably can’t be used: “He’s so smart if brains were a do not disturb sign, I’d hang him on my knob.”
UPDATE: HERE’S A VIDEO OF THE INTROS I WAS TALKING ABOUT ABOVE: