I’m getting all ready for tonight’s show. I even tried to buy a tarp, which is not a joke even though it sounds like one. See, there’s some temporary transitional crumbly asphalt outside my door and so I need to cover it up because it belongs outside, and needs to stay there, unlike me, who belongs inside. Seriously, I tried to go out into the world today, to the post office, and all hell broke loose.

So I bought a mat instead of a tarp. That wasn’t the hell that broke loose.

Tonight’s show will be amazing!

Look at this line up! Jenna Kim Jones, Alfred Schulz, Jake Tuber, Lindsay Kaplan along with Koryn and Dustin! And featuring the music of TrappDog! And some special insanely awesome videos!

Plus a Fan Phone Call or two! And Deleted Tweets? And Pencil Dancing? And Gal Chat! (in case you’re wondering you read that correctly. that highlight has 2,410 views) And more Things You Never Hear People Say! And JMOE!

The show begins at 10pm eastern: http://www.ustream.tv/AlisonRosen

Alison on Twitter: http://twitter.com/alisonrosen

ARIYBNF Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/ARIYNBF

Alison Gear (you totally need some of this!) http://alisonrosen.com/gear

As you likely know from the way I’ve been in your face about it, I’m now selling ARIYNBF tshirts with the Kez logo on them. They’re perfection in tshirt form. The downside is that I have a box full of tshirts and a pile of bubble wrap mailers and another pile of some other kind of mailer and envelopes of assorted sizes and sheets of paper and also photos and buttons and stamps and construction paper and trash and none of it is doing itself.

It’s weird, you would think my sitting on the couch and giving the shirts space to really be themselves and do what they need to do would have a positive effect but instead, nada. “Look alive!” I yelled at the tshirts yesterday, blowing into a whistle and jogging in place. “You, yeah, you!” I brayed, poking one of the shirts in the chest. “What are you waiting for, an invitation? DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY AND THEN GET INTO AN ENVELOPE!” I shouted. I haven’t seen such a bunch of sorry little girls since I coached a fleet of collector’s buttons into bubble wrap a few weeks ago. It drove me to drink, so I sucked down some diet soda and then threw an energy bar over my left shoulder and rubbed chalk all over my hands and put a bunch of balls in a mesh bag. Then I inspected my shoes for termites, shaved my head for team spirit, injected some steroids into an orange (it’s a science experiment I’m performing), rubbed some grease paint under the picture of my eyes on the tshirt and then ordered everyone into the showers where the shirts began snapping themselves at one another. Again I had to blow my whistle. “Am I coaching or babysitting here? Rub some dirt in it!” I yelled, dabbing Gatorade behind my ears. I don’t get paid enough.

Here’s the base of operation:

Tom Rapp made these cool videos revealing how he puts together the songs for my show. Also revealing my short-lived new hat trend. In this one he’s working on “Things You Never Hear People Say.” Part 1 is above. Here’s Part 2.