Oh look, it’s the wave I always do even if I don’t particularly want to:
And here I am looking smarmy:
Watching you watching me
This is actually the second Fran Drescher reference I’ve gotten this week but it’s nice nonetheless. And yes, they do slather you in lip gloss.
Me talking about skee-ball on the 11pm news 8-17-07
An excuse
So I promised that I’d give you the behind-the-scenes rundown each time I do a TV appearance and already I’ve fallen behind. You were right to turn your back on me years ago, adoring public. But see I had to change desks at work and I’m changing rooms in my apartment and while these two mini moves hardly add up to anything like a real move they’re still unsettling enough to make me clam up. Did that sound like a real excuse? Because it was hardly one. But I’ll rectify this soon I promise. Expect duck jokes and more. Plus clips!
see me tonight
I’ll be on NBC local news between 11pm and 11:30pm so tune in if you’re so inclined which you pretty much definitely are. Then stay right there without even sleeping so you can see me on the same channel at about 9:30am. Okay then.
HIGHLY SPECIFIC SCENARIOS INVOLVING DUCKS (and what to say)
THE SITUATION: someone has given you a duck which you’re trying desperately to give away, so desperately that you resort to flattery
YOU SAY: “Nice shoes! Want a duck?”
HIGHLY SPECIFIC PICK-UP LINES
THE SITUATION: there’s been a break in
YOU SAY: Was your father a thief? Because my watch is missing.
THE SITUATION: it’s Easter
YOU SAY: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or hidden in the backyard?
THE SITUATION: there’s been a hurricane
YOU SAY: what do you say we go back to my place and slip out of these wet clothes?
TRENDWATCH
HOT: branding iron
NOT: guppies
Today's TONYblog 1 Thing
Iambic pentameter? I’m not into Satan, thank you very much.
Alfresco is really the best way to enjoy Shakespeare, with the possible exception of al dente or, if you’re feeling funky, in a class called something like “From [Name of Tragedy] to [Name of Tragedy]: The Tragedies of William Shakespeare.” I took such a class in college which, despite my dewy face and general youthful demeanor, was some time ago, and so I can say that the plays really hold up. I mean, I read them when they were current. We’d pack up a saddlebag of tomatoes to throw at the players (more…)
TRENDWATCH
HOT: waffles
NOT: nuclear winter