And we’re taking bets on when it’s going to break. But for now there is this Web compendium of awesomeness including but not limited to embarrassing teen photos of the TONY staff. You’ll pretty much want to read every last bit of it!
Today's TONYblog 1 Thing
This one’s mine but you should look into getting one that’s similar.
Happy October 1, everyone. By this point you should be neck-deep in apple bobbing and nary an idle moment should go by that you don’t admire the bountiful horn of plenty placed on a nearby horizontal surface (I keep mine on Dustin’s desk). Now, should you not yet have a horn of plenty or comparable cornucopia, you should march out right now to get one, because otherwise you’ll have nowhere to keep your gourds and Indian corn. I’d also recommend jumping or taking naps in freshly raked piles of leaves, drinking cider and storing nuts in your cheeks for winter. Before long you’ll be cutting eyeholes in a white sheet and mock-scaring the bejesus out of neighborhood children, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. For tonight there is only love and also the New York Film Festival. Something tells me you like movies. Am I right?
Best Bets 9-29-07
As of today
I decided I’m pretty much tired of anyone who has “vision” or “a vision” for anything.
addendum
In discussing our fictional children’s book series (and by that I don’t mean the books are fiction, I mean the books are a fiction) with my sister I learned that I had both the title and the premise of one of them wrong. It’s Jobs are for Carols, Grapes are for Jane. Meaning jobs are for the birds. I thought it was more like “to each his own” like some people like to work jobs, some like to eat grapes. But I was wrong! It’s good I have her here to keep me in line. So anyway, thus far we have: A Turtle Named Jane, See Jane Eat a Grape, Schooltime for Jane and Jobs are for Carols, Grapes are for Jane. The miniseries will be called Jane: Plain and Green. If you are reading this thinking “I don’t get it,” don’t worry. There’s little to get. It’s more a matter of mild to nonexistent amusement.
animals, books, names
Tonight my sister and I invented a game where you say a pet name and then have to figure out what animal it would go with. For example, Carol is very clearly a parrot. Upon realizing that Jane is a turtle, we began coming up with book titles for a series of books about Jane including A New Home for Jane and my personal favorite, See Jane Eat a Grape. We also settled on Jobs are for Carol, Grapes are for Jane and we aren’t quite sure the content, but doesn’t it sound educational? And also heartwarming? We think so too.
Should you find yourself wanting to play this game go right ahead but might I suggest you start with another game we invented called Cow, Sheep, Goat? It’s where someone says the name of a cheese and then you have to say what kind of milk it’s made with. It helps to have an extensive knowledge of cheese, which we lack, hence the game never turned into our own personal Bunko.
Here I am talking about how I play sports on Red Eye
Hot Seat with Josh Schwartz
For awhile I was saying Josh Schwartz was my buddyroo but then I interviewed David Schwimmer and I think he might be my new best friend. Sorry Josh. Here’s my interview with you though.
UPDATE: NOW WITH VIDEO! cheese logs, vienna sausages, soap dispensers
Friday’s Red Eye intros hit a new pinnacle of absurdity and some of the guests couldn’t stop laughing. Of all the horribly wrong things I’ve had a hand in writing, I think I’m most proud of these. Actually, that’s a huge statement, so maybe I should rethink it, since when I die I’d really rather not have “she’s so smart if brains were a cheese log, I’d pick at her nuts” on my tombstone. Is it bad luck to wonder what your epitaph will be? I recall a conversation where I was pressed to answer and I said “she liked words [long pause]… more than people.” Anyway, off to paint my fingernails black and write free verse in my diary. And that brings me to another intro which probably can’t be used: “He’s so smart if brains were a do not disturb sign, I’d hang him on my knob.”
UPDATE: HERE’S A VIDEO OF THE INTROS I WAS TALKING ABOUT ABOVE:
Hot Seat with Emily Blunt
It’s hard to believe I still haven’t had gay chicken. Here’s the interview.