I don’t actually eat the food at Starbucks—I don’t have 500 calories to spare on a giant orange cookie shaped like a daisy—however I’m always interested to see the calorie counts on all the items because it makes waiting in line less boring. (In NYC restaurants with more than 15 outlets have to post the numbers.) That said, does anyone else wonder about the accuracy of those counts? I trust the high ones, but tucked in between a thumbprint scone (310) and a maple walnut swirly cluster frittata with ham and peas (I made that up) is some kind of tart thing which is huge but claims to have 190 or 120 or something.

Okay, so this post would have been better if I could actually remember names or counts, but I’m just saying I don’t trust those shifty coffee mongers.

“Alright, Twitch and Kerrington performed a moving Viennese waltz dedicated to their choreographer’s disabled daughter.”

I don’t mean to make light of what I’m sure is a poignant plot twist on So You Think You Can Dance, however that sentence, which I just heard on the TV Guide Channel’s Reality Chat, which, incidentally, I would like to host should they be looking for new hosts, is like something out of an S.J. Perelman essay.

The good thing about striking out bathroom wise at one starbucks (and by that I mean not finding the restroom fast enough to avoid drawing attention to the fact that you aren't buying anything) is that you can try again at the next starbucks which is sure to be a few doors down.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The blurriness of the reel on youtube was bothering me so I uploaded it to Vimeo. Seeing if this is any better. The problem here though is that all my other videos are on youtube so I like the idea that if someone is watching on youtube and wants to see more they are like “oh, 45 more videos!” or whatever as opposed to here where there are three videos, each of which was, I think, a blurriness test. Plus, all the comments on youtube. My precious precious comments like “Rosen yid bitch hahaha.” You know?

Alison Rosen’s extended reel–now 33% more awesome! from Alison Rosen on Vimeo.

A good headline for an article about poisonous soup would be “From the ladle to the grave.”

Incidentally, what the hell is going on with me and puns today? Maybe this is some reaction to going freelance. Some kind of final pun flurry before my brain accepts that I no longer have to write headlines? Or maybe I’m actually slowly losing my mind?

I actually heard someone on TV say this while discussing whether women should go sleeveless to somber events. There are a lot of things I could say about this, none of which I have time to say right now. I’m sorry. I’m giving you blue blog.