Here I am with the imaginary father of my imaginary children, Joshua McCarroll, Red Eye wunderkind and McConaughey correspondent. We’re in the green room, wearing green. Well, one of us was. By the way, McConaughey is kind of impossible to spell.

Here I am doing The Strategy Room earlier today. I totally came up with the best strategy. I’d tell you, but it’s a secret.

Here I am smiling, probably at something I said.

Here I am cocking my head because I heard a high pitched noise or smelled a piece of kibble.

This is me on Red Eye last night shortly before Greg called me out for not answering the specific question he asked. What you didn’t hear in the commercial break? Me saying “How dare you call me out for not answering the question! Not answering the question is the backbone of this show!”

And then here’s where I explained that I don’t think smart pills actually make you smart. I think they make you annoying.

And then here I am making this face.

Oh look, it’s the beach (I had to get these off my camera. They’re from my recent trip of OC for Thanksgiving).

Another beach shot.

Another beach shot. Lovely, isn’t it?

And then here’s a couch I saw today at Raymour & Flanigan. This one’s four hundred and something dollars cheaper than the one sitting in my apartment right now but which I could return. Should I return the one in my apartment and get this one instead? It’s entirely polyester/synthetic/foam whereas there are actual feathers/down in the one in my apartment. Hm. It seemed comfortable though.