So I was told to go straight to the 17th minute of today’s The 404 podcast to hear about myself, which of course I’m into, however there’s a fair helping of Alison chatter right at the beginning of the podcast! I think I’m in love with these guys.
Go here to listen to today’s show which is super entertaining even without my name interspersed throughout.
http://www.cnet.com/8301-13952_1-10157704-81.html?tag=mncol;title#comments
give or take about ten minutes. I’ll be doing this radio appearance in my living room on the phone. I’ll be wearing a skimpy MTA uniform, like a sexy MTA worker getup, because that’s how I like to recline. Don’t judge me.
Anyway, you can listen here APPARENTLY although like I said before, I tried and got nowhere. It was frustrating so I began crying so hard my whole floor filled with magical tears that nearly washed my various skimpy radio outfits into the street, where I would have been fined for not properly recycling them.
It is strange that after seven years of living on the East Coast I still want to run home to Orange County, CA when I feel sad or disappointed. Strange and inconvenient.
Not that I’m feeling any of these things because my life is so totally gangbusters I hardly have a minute to sit back and rest on my laurels. For that reason I’ve decided to have my entire apartment outfitted in laurels. I was going to have the place redone in trophies but after flopping down on “Best Sportsmanship–Tennis Open 1983” and realizing too late just how sharp those little rackets are, I called up the interior decorator and told her I wanted to stick with the theme of accolades but maybe we needed to find something, well, squishier. It was a shame because I had to send back the couch which was made entirely of small marble Press Club obelisks. I didn’t see any other option.
My relationship with the interior decorator has been a source of some frustration and I do have to say that she was pushing ribbons hard. Ribbons and pennants. I had to slap her around a little because the thing is, when I filled out my comment card upon walking into her store, I circled “no horse or baseball awards.” Sometimes I worry she doesn’t take her job as seriously as I need her to.
Finding a good interior decorator who will outfit your apartment exactly to your liking using only materials meant to celebrate you is more difficult that you’d realize and if you aren’t careful you’ll come home to a roomful of streamers. I could hire monkeys to hang streamers. I know this because once I hired monkeys to hang streamers.
And you know what else? I thank you not to hit a going out of business party store to pick up the materials with which to decorate my apartment because if I come home and it looks like Uncle Sam puked all over my lanai, I’m going to know you looted the July 4 bargain bin.
Yes, I have a lanai. It’s where the parrots live. I think we’ve been through this.
Have we not been through this? I have a small aviary which I inherited from Fred Audubon, no relation. Fred and I interned together on the U.S.S. U.S.S. It was a ship with a not very creative name which was ironic because there was a lot of creativity aboard that vessel. Between my glitter glue and Fred’s pinking shears, well, let’s just say no piece of construction paper was safe around the two of us!
Anyway, I fear I’ve said too much and I’m expecting a shipment of laurel throw pillows any minute now.
Oh St. Louis, stop with this embarrassing profession of love!
Just kidding. Not embarrassing. Delightfully delightful. Might I compliment your discerning tastes? I think I just did.
with Natali Del Conte who was wearing fantastic gray shoes which matched her sweater but you can’t see them in this photo
with Justin Yu who’s from Orange County, Jeff Bakalar who has a girlfriend, and Wilson Tang whose first name is Wilson
This grainy video was shot with my BlackBerry as opposed to the Flip cameras which both Dustin and Anna have because they’re fancy. Why am I not fancy, you ask? I don’t know. It’s not for lack of trying. Anywhoozle, after I did The 404 today the guys asked me to record a couple greetings and sign their wall and pose for some photos and take my clothes off. I thought the clothes thing was kind of weird, but I’m a good sport and they assured me this is what they always do and it’s what Steve Guttenberg will be doing on Friday and stuff. Then Natali Del Conte told me the guys had crushes on me and then I tried to film this crappy little video but they kept talking about their man crush on Clayton Morris. I’m sorry, why weren’t we talking about me again? I’m still baffled.
Did I just stop breathing for a second? I feel lightheaded and out of it/retarded. And if you happen to be my one friend who doesn’t like the word retarded… I’m sorry. I’m offensive right now. Offensively slow. In fact, if I cared at all about only coming off as fantastically entertaining I would take this vlog out back and shoot it. But no, I’m too lazy to do another one so up this one goes. Consider yourself warned.
Totally and completely. And not just because they wrote this.
(I’ll write more about the experience later but wanted to throw up the above link so you can read their post and also download the show should you be so inclined.)
I love being loved!