And the panic that shot through me was not unlike what I imagine a mother feels like upon almost dropping her newborn. Anyway, it's cooling now and then I'll make and drizzle the glaze while bluebirds help me hem a dress.
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My God, I don't totally suck at this!
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Don't be intimidated by my domestic prowess…
Don't be intimidated by my domestic prowess but I'm making a cake! And now if you'll excuse me, my flour is getting gluey.
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More Things He's Just Not That Into
Eucalyptus
Euphemisms (he’s a straight shooter)
Units of measurement (he prefers to shoot from the hip)
Yucaipa, California
Yosemite, pronounced wrong
Ujubes which are boxes of Jujubes but the J is torn off
Huge things pronounced in that way that some people pronounce it where the H is a Y and you’re like “why are you saying that?”
Uvulas
Eunice Mary Kennedy Shriver, a member of the Kennedy family who helped found the Special Olympics
Unique baubles (he prefers his baubles to be commonplace, bordering on mundane)
Yule Brenner
Yule logs (he’s Jewish. but you know, like super into it)
You Be The Judge! (he’s super bossy and always wants to be the judge)
Yoo-hoo (he’s allergic to “chocolatey”)
Yahoo Sirius (reminds him of Yoo-hoo)
Yahoo (he prefers google)
Universities (he’s opposed to the Ivory Tower and academics in general. Don’t even get him started!)
University Presses (he prefers desktop publishing)
You Know It! (hates sassy catchphrases)
You Bet Your Sweet Bippy! (see above)
UNESCO (he’s sort of an anarchist)
He's Just Not that Into Ukulele
Worried your man isn’t that into the ukulele and yet afraid to ask? Don’t get your hula skirt in a knot, girlfriend, we’re here to help! First and foremost, direct communication when at all possible is advised. Why not just ask him how he feels about the small four stringed instrument? What’s the worst that could happen? He’s say he’s not feeling it and then you’d cry into your poi balls? It’s easier said than done, though, and we get that. Maybe you aren’t ready to have that conversation just yet. In that case, here are some signs he might just not be that into ukulele:
He avoids luaus
Claims hand is broken and yet proceeds to enter yo-yo championship, and win!
Claims has no time for the ukulele now that he’s a yo-yo celebrity
Refers to ukulele as “that annoying wannabe guitar”
Refers to banjo as “a step up from shitty ukulele”
Never tries to have sex with ukulele
Denies selling his Don Ho albums on eBay
Claims eBay handle “Don Ho Electronic Store Superseller” is just “coincidence”
Deep seated sudden hatred for bubbles of all sizes but especially tiny bubbles
Could care less about your dog or its flea condition
Says he’s just been “really busy… not playing the ukulele”
Q&A vlog!
It’s as if I’m naked in this one if by naked you mean not wearing a cape!
Video of me being interviewed on the radio
This is very me looking at you looking at me looking at you, which seems to be a theme on this blog lately as I encounter more and more people willing to publicly adore me. Come into the light, lovers of me! Make no mistake people, I adore being adored. Anyway, St. Louis not only loves me, but filmed themselves doing so.
That sounds wrong. But also right.
My wikipedia page
it’s so fancy! Thanks to whoever updated it! [UPDATE: THANKS TO KEVIN CARLYLE!] And since wiki pages are living breathing ever evolving things, like, um, uh, errrr,
the internet itself?
one’s hair and fingernails?
sea sponges? but like if sea sponges were ever evolving which I don’t think they are?
palimpsests?
graffiti on a wall?
spaghetti on a plate?
What was I saying? Oh yeah, just that who knows if the page will stay like this but for now it’s neato!
Not to be a total girl…
but I just shed a few tears… because I felt overwhelmed! And misunderstood! And get this, not because I’m overwhelmed with work, because I am, but overwhelmed with having to wrap presents.
I mean really.
And speaking of female matters, as someone who possesses ovaries and a television set I felt it my duty to attempt to watch Grey’s Anatomy last night. I say attempt because I had trouble caring. I mean, the scene where they had to apply constant pressure (i.e. hug) the Asperger’s doctor? Give me a break. And then the scene where … OH SPOILER ALERT… I should have said that earlier. Sorry. Anyway the scene where Yang hugs the war doctor even though he’s saying no and freaking out? You really can’t hug the unwilling. I mean, sometimes you can, but more often you can’t. Ducklings though, you can soothe by making a little nest with your hands and holding them tight and they’ll relax and fall asleep. Full grown human beings are harder to fit in your hands, I find.
Also, I have many thoughts about The Real World. Perhaps I will share them. But not now.
A moment of silence for Woofie
Today, Feb 6, would have been Woofie’s birthday. If he were alive today he’d be, let me see, about 24 years old which in dog years is 70 million. Woofie enjoyed such activities as riding in cars, walking around with paper stuck to his nose and licking. He is missed.
After Woofie died my parents waited about five years, which in daughter years is 70 million, to get a new dog. Finally they settled on the guy below though. I like to imagine what Woofie and Tobey would have been like together.
