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Author Archive | Alison Rosen

Oh mediabistro!

By on February 1, 2008 in hey look it’s me TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO

They ran this flawed blurb about my career change:

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen has been named associate features editor at Time Out New York. She had been music writer there. (mb)

Which is awesome, but it happened TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO! Other outdated causes for celebration?

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen moved to New York. She had been living in Calfornia (mb)

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen got her braces off. She had been wearing them for four years (mb)

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen got into Pomona, early decision! She had been hoping this would happen so she could stop doing any work for the remainder of her senior year(mb)

January 30, 2008: but back to the braces thing, a lot of people only had to wear them for like two years, and she had to wear them for four which pissed her off, specifically because she didn’t think she should still be in braces when she got her driver’s license, you know? (mb)

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen got her driver’s license! (mb)

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen got braces!

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen learned how to raise one eyebrow. she’s been working on it in front of the bathroom mirror for what seemed like many headache-inducing hours. (mb)

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen will be playing the role of Mrs. Harper in the 8th grade musical. For this, she will be wearing a funny hat.

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen is trying out for the role of Becky, the lead in the 8th grade musical. (mb)

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen has been born. She had been a fetus. (mb)

January 30, 2008: Alison Rosen is a fetus. She had been a zygote. (mb)

January 30, 2008: Shhhhhhh…. be very very quiet. Alison Rosen is gestating.

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I'm dismantling my desk at work

By on January 31, 2008 in Uncategorized

I didn’t expect it to be sad, but it kind of is! Because I’m going through CDs and finding the first ones I ever reviewed here and it feels like a long time ago. The funny thing is that I remember being not all that happy at the time, and so I’m feeling nostalgia for something I don’t remember fondly. Also, perhaps dismantling isn’t right word if that suggests some kind of hot allen wrench action. I just mean going through the mountains of crap I collected here. I changed desks three times over the last three years and by the third time I didn’t even really set stuff up, I just lived like a desk refugee (though the post-it note that says “please buy a stamp for personal mail” which I found on a piece of mail thoughtfully returned to me, is proudly tacked up on my bulletin board.) What was I saying? Back to the sorting I go!

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I've come to care

By on January 28, 2008 in dogs, Fred

…way too much about Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. He’s just so sage and knowing. And calm and serene. I interviewed him once. It was him and Adam Corolla. It was at the MTV Music Awards in 1997, back when I was 14. (Did I mention I’m 24? Because I’m not.) They were joking about Madonna’s sudden British accent. Maybe it was 1998? Anyway, the point is that I hope Jeff Conway pulls through! Also, I search longingly through my DVR’s “search by title” function for new episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The title is my go-to joke when I need to make fun of silly reality shows, which apparently is often, but between you and me there is nothing joking about my strange obsession with the show. I think it was from watching with bewildered curiosity the episode “Dude you’re so pregnant” or whatever it was called. That guy that she almost married–such insouciant douchiness! And those cute puppies! And the way Bruce Jenner always looks taken aback because his face has been pulled into a permanent expression of surprise. What does insouciant mean? That’s one of those words I repeatedly look up and forget. My brain refuses to latch on.

Also, my friend Rob got a dog. Rob and I were talking to each other recently at a party about how we both want to get dogs and are dangerously close to it and then he off and did it! The same dog he was talking about at the party that he’d seen on the internet! He is my hero for he is brave and not afraid to get a dog. Not that there’s anything lacking in my relationship with Fred The Jade Plant though, because I experienced something close to vegetable nirvana earlier.

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Now that I'm going freelance

By on January 27, 2008 in Fred

…I have the time to open up my heart to something that can both give and receive love. Meet Fred:

Fred, getting ready to drop a one-liner

He’s brand new but already I can tell we’re going to get along great. Plus, he tells the funniest jokes!

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The gym

By on January 26, 2008 in the gym

I’m going to go the gym. I’m wearing my gym clothes and everything. I even have a rubber band around my right wrist to keep my hand from falling off. Have you ever tried to exercise without a hand? Actually for certain things like jogging or riding a bike (if you have a good balance) it’s not so bad, but for weight lifting or, say, competitive hand shaking, it’s a detriment. But actually it’s there so I can put my hair in a pony tail at said gym, which I haven’t been to in so long that last time I went (not to exercise, but to check on my locker) I found a layer of dust on my lock. I would have opened it but I couldn’t remember the combination. I also can’t remember what’s inside there. Probably some hair junk, more rubber bands, a half eaten sandwich and some arts and crafts supplies. My friend and I long to spend a day in the locker room creating dioramas inside our lockers, just to see what people would say to us if we were really in there for a whole day cutting little things out of construction paper. Also, I removed the irritating rubber band and if you’ll notice I’m sitting here writing BS so as not to be at the gym. Okay, here I go.

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I think

By on January 25, 2008 in god I love me, wendy molyneux

it’s funny when people stand gloves up on things so it looks like they’re waving. For example there is a glove standing up on the ledge above the mailboxes downstairs in my building and it made the experience of checking my mail, and discovering that 290 buckaroos of a health claim weren’t covered because reason number code here etc a little friendlier.

Also I took my sad little bundle of laundry to the place across the street this morning hoping to get it there in time to get it back today but I’d missed the cut off. I asked the woman what time they could have it tomorrow. She answered and I frowned. She paused and then told me to try the place next door because they can have it done in time. It was all very Miracle on 34th Street but with more socks.

Finally I’m gearing up to write a big FAQ about the current events of my life. I probably won’t actually do this. But wouldn’t it be awesome if I did?

Oh and Wendy and I posted!

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Chats and books

By on January 22, 2008 in Red Eye, tumblr, wendy molyneux

Wendy and I did more chatting today. We try to put up some posts every day so if you aren’t already in the habit of clicking over there, you should be! We talked before the horrible Heath Ledger news though, so these are more about Oscar noms and bowl cuts. And abortions. You know, fun stuff. Also, Wendy has a book out right now. That means I know two people with books out. You should buy their books. I haven’t seen the final editions of either book but I saw early versions of both, because I’m so special and important that of course people want to consult me and get my opinion. (I told Wendy to make hers more pink and I told Greg to make his a coloring book.)

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How I feel about having put in my two weeks notice

By on January 21, 2008 in more about me, Red Eye

Elated and then scared and then exhilarated and then freaked out and then peppy and then nervous and then jumpy and then hesitant and then bucolic and then urban and then sinuous and then puffy and then viscous and then runny and are you still reading this? I stopped awhile ago. Also, I wrote my favorite ever Red Eye intro that won’t ever see air, and for good reason probably, since it’s highly offensive. But anyway: “[She’s so smart] if brains were a baptismal, I’d put a baby in her in church.”

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