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Author Archive | Alison Rosen

I have not forgotten about you

By on October 29, 2008 in nuts

Readers, hello! New York is cold as nuts and it’s not the weather I’m talking about, it’s the way I haven’t written anything on this blog today which has left you feeling out-of-sorts and dare I say, bereft. I do, I do dare say it. I dared it and said it and now I have to move on. Too much wallowing.

I should go to sleep which I planned to do 37 minutes ago but it took me 37 minutes to figure out what New York is as cold as. Nuts? It doesn’t even make sense unless you keep your nuts in the freezer.

I don’t though. I put them under my pillow so I can have crunchy dreams. I also shove shellfish, soy and traces of chocolate under there as a precautionary measure in case anyone with food allergies tries to attack me in my sleep.

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When it comes to social interactions

By on October 28, 2008 in being graceful, comedy, god I love me, if I drew cartoons, name dropping, Red Eye, weird food

When it comes to social interactions I prefer to have them with a mic in my hand or a camera in my face. Tonight I mixed with people unknown to me without all that though. Just me, my bongos and a bottle of Wild Turkey. Minus the bongos and Wild Turkey.

I went to a party with Red Eye pal John Roy where I met a guy (funny comedian Pete Holmes) who draws actual cartoons for the New Yorker. I got all excited and tried to explain that I draw fake cartoons for the New Yorker but I don’t draw them, I just think them up, and I never send them in because it’s not about that. I think he was suitably impressed. Then I mentioned that some of my fans have actually drawn them but what I really meant to say was, “Did I mention I have fans?”

And then I had a horribly awkward exchange with a woman by the crudite, but it’s late and I’m too tired to write it out. Perhaps tomorrow, my dears. It involves slippery bell peppers and tongs.

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I'm top chef!

By on October 26, 2008 in Uncategorized

Cab Driver: So are you married, miss?
Me: Nope
Cab Driver: Really? I would have thought you be married with two kids.
Me: Yeah
Cab Driver: I’m surprised. You’re top chef. You know? Top chef. You ain’t all beat up.

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Gross! (and yet cute) AND YET GROSS!

By on October 26, 2008 in babies, dogs, gay milk

I was watching the puppies here and all of them were nursing except there was one in the corner and I thought “Oh cute, he’s doing his own thing in the corner,” and then I realized doing his own thing meant going to the bathroom which was less cute and yet still kind of cute in a puppies will be puppies and go to the bathroom near where their mom and siblings are eating and then the mom quickly ate the poo! It wasn’t cute!

But now they’re all making puppy noises, which is cute.

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I heard puppies

By on October 26, 2008 in career advice, dogs, haircuts

I heard puppies and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. It was on my computer! I’d left this window open: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/10/hot-saturday-ni.html

You’ll probably want to go there now.

And now, an important question that’s unrelated to puppies: Let’s say you have two important meetings coming up and you’ve noticed that your hair is really frayed at the ends and so you could really use a trim. But let’s say you are also someone who walks away from many haircuts feeling upset and like your tender follicular rights have been violated? Do you make an appointment ahead of time so your hair will look better however you’re risking being unhappy with it? Or do you just go to your important meetings with in-need-of-a-trim hair?

It’s more rhetorical, since I tried to make an appointment to get a haircut and they can’t see me until after the meetings. But, you know, just wondering what you would have done.

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