Author Archive | Alison Rosen

Eucalyptus
Euphemisms (he’s a straight shooter)
Units of measurement (he prefers to shoot from the hip)
Yucaipa, California
Yosemite, pronounced wrong
Ujubes which are boxes of Jujubes but the J is torn off
Huge things pronounced in that way that some people pronounce it where the H is a Y and you’re like “why are you saying that?”
Uvulas
Eunice Mary Kennedy Shriver, a member of the Kennedy family who helped found the Special Olympics
Unique baubles (he prefers his baubles to be commonplace, bordering on mundane)
Yule Brenner
Yule logs (he’s Jewish. but you know, like super into it)
You Be The Judge! (he’s super bossy and always wants to be the judge)
Yoo-hoo (he’s allergic to “chocolatey”)
Yahoo Sirius (reminds him of Yoo-hoo)
Yahoo (he prefers google)
Universities (he’s opposed to the Ivory Tower and academics in general. Don’t even get him started!)
University Presses (he prefers desktop publishing)
You Know It! (hates sassy catchphrases)
You Bet Your Sweet Bippy! (see above)
UNESCO (he’s sort of an anarchist)

Worried your man isn’t that into the ukulele and yet afraid to ask? Don’t get your hula skirt in a knot, girlfriend, we’re here to help! First and foremost, direct communication when at all possible is advised. Why not just ask him how he feels about the small four stringed instrument? What’s the worst that could happen? He’s say he’s not feeling it and then you’d cry into your poi balls? It’s easier said than done, though, and we get that. Maybe you aren’t ready to have that conversation just yet. In that case, here are some signs he might just not be that into ukulele:

He avoids luaus
Claims hand is broken and yet proceeds to enter yo-yo championship, and win!
Claims has no time for the ukulele now that he’s a yo-yo celebrity
Refers to ukulele as “that annoying wannabe guitar”
Refers to banjo as “a step up from shitty ukulele”
Never tries to have sex with ukulele
Denies selling his Don Ho albums on eBay
Claims eBay handle “Don Ho Electronic Store Superseller” is just “coincidence”
Deep seated sudden hatred for bubbles of all sizes but especially tiny bubbles
Could care less about your dog or its flea condition
Says he’s just been “really busy… not playing the ukulele”