Subscribe to my Substack!!!!

Author Archive | Alison Rosen

Thoughts You Have While Falling Asleep

You know how when you’re falling asleep or just waking up or basically phasing in and out of sleep you can be having a fairly normal chain of thoughts and then you’ll have one bizarre one and that’s how you’ll know you were starting to fall asleep? It happened to me once while I was driving, which is a true story. I was driving back to Claremont from Santa Barbara (where I saw Lenny Kravitz and Blind Melon. Go ahead and judge me!) and suddenly I saw the Michelin Man and bunch of confetti out the left window. Soon after I felt speed bumps and my friend, who’d also fallen asleep, saying, “Are you falling asleep?” while punching me in the shoulder. “I was in the middle of an amazing dream!” I yelled at him. Then we crashed and died.

Well anyway, last night I was thinking that I really need to do something about my recycling/trash bin situation. Right now I have a lot of this going on:

That’s, from left to right: trash, paper and cardboard, bottles and whatever else goes with bottles (glasses and wonderful conversation, am I right?!?!?!?!) and another trash bag.

But I really should get something like this:

Or maybe something like this:

And then next to that I should definitely get this:

Yes, that’s right. A thing to blow up balloons in my kitchen.

Continue Reading

Books, shows and movies as imagined by Nadya Suleman

Are we as a culture over Octo Mom? Or is it just me because I talked about it on Geraldo on Oscars night? (Oh, did I mention that already?) Anyway, I made this list even though it feels kind of like a yesterday thing to do. Maybe I’m just moving too fast? Probably. I’m very ahead of my time. In fact I’ve already enjoyed this weekend. I’d tell you what I did but don’t want to cause a tear in the space time continuum. I’m sure you understand. [oh, and cheesy request here but if you like this list please use the Share This button at the bottom to digg it or technorati it or make it delicious or put lip gloss on it or call it Trudie or whatever it is that people do when they do that stuff.]

Books, shows and movies as imagined by Nadya Suleman

What to Expect When You’re Expecting Octuplets

With Eight You Get Eggroll… And Gov’t Assistance

Eight Isn’t Enough

Three Men and a Baby, Plus Seven More Babies, Minus Three Men

He’s Just Not That Into Eight Babies

The Audacity of Hoping No One Notices You’re a Crazy Bitch With Fourteen Children

The Seven Habits of Highly Fertile Women

I Hope They Serve Huggies In Hell

Like Breast Milk For Chocolate

The Unbearable Lightness of Micro-Preemies

Continue Reading

Site: Todd Jackson | Art Direction: Josh Holtsclaw | Original Logo: Kezilla | Show Music: Tom Rapp