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The purse I mentioned on Twitter

So I mentioned on Twitter that I’d fallen in love with a purse I can’t afford and then everyone was like “what purse? picture?” but I didn’t want to take a photo at Bloomingdales because I’m pretty sure they’ll take you out back and shoot you for doing so and considering my already high profile, that’s really the last thing I need.

How high is my profile? Oh my god you guys, I can barely move about unmolested by the prying eyes of my public. Prying, molesting eyes. Usually the left pries while the right molests. If I happen to catch them in a mirror then it’s reversed. I think. Wait? Hm.

Anyway, here’s the purse:

It’s by L.A.M.B. Did you know that I wrote the first ever national cover story about No Doubt? I did. Be impressed. It doesn’t get my free purses though. But Gwen hugged me at the VMA’s in 1998 and thanked me. It’s like, say it with purses, Gwen. [note: I am JOKING.]
Ooh, look, it also comes in this color.

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Annotated pics from The Strategy Room

Before PrototypeDemo abandoned my Twitter for Andy Levy’s, which still smarts, by the way, he posted a bunch of Strategy Room screen grabs to The Activity Pit. I’ve chosen a select few to comment on.

In the above photo two things are worth noting. 1) I’m a Page Six Magazine contributing editor which is different than a Page Six contributor. I tried to explain the difference on air. Once more: Page Six Magazine is a glossy weekly magazine which examines NYC lifestyle, culture and more and comes free in Sunday’s New York Post. Page Six is a daily gossip column. 2) My eyes are up here.

And then here’s where I measured the desk.

Then I adjusted my hair.

Then I was all “Oh yeah, wrestler who sells energy drinks? You wanna spar? I will cardio kickbox all over your ass! Bring it!”

And then I was like, “Whoa, whoa whoa whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wow whoa whoa.” Then I asked readers to spot the wow in the preceding string of whoas. Also: whoa is me!

Then I got drunk.

Then I saw a patch of gnomes off to the right. They were frolicking and carrying marshmallows to and fro. I wanted to join them because they looked so happy. But would I, a full size human, be accepted into their tiny world? The thoughts weighed heavy on me.

Then I got up and left.

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