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about prunes

So, I think I owe you my much ballyhooed prune observation, however I worry at this point that it’s been oversold, over ballyhooed, over trumpeted. Can it possibly live up to the expectation? Because this isn’t prune brilliance or prune enlightenment or any sort of shriveled bit of prunevana. It isn’t even a prune epiphany. If it were served over an omelette it might be prunes over my hammy, though. (incidentally, I used to hate puns. what happened?)

But here goes: the other night I’m looking at a can of prunes and the back says,

“For hors d’oevres, stuff a prune with a cheese wedge, a crunchy walnut or a chocolate kiss.”

If you could hear the reaction I had in my head to each suggestion it would sound like “uh huh…. uh-huh, okay… what the fuck?”

When has anyone ever shoved a chocolate kiss in a prune and why would someone ever? To make the prune more exciting? Or the chocolate less?

You know how they say that anything you can think of has been done? So like if you think of some incredibly perverted sex act involving a carrier pigeon, one that probably defies the laws of physics, you just know that someone, somewhere has tried it. The grossest most liquidy and arcane things you can possibly conjur have been tried.

And yet, I just bet no one has ever stuffed a prune with a chocolate kiss. If I’m wrong, I would like to hear about it. All you chocolate prune stuffers, make some noise.

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prune tease

When I have a moment later, readers, remind me to regale you with a deep thought I had about prunes! I was going to say remind me to regale you with an observation I had about prunes but for some reason that suggests that I myself ate the prunes and then observed, which is not what happened. It was more conceptual. And more from afar. Sort of like here I am on the sidelines, noticing things. Things about prunes.

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