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clips from Biography Channel

Someone wanted to see some of my more straightforward reporting so I made this not very fancy video which I’m sharing with you, lovers, because I keep no secrets from you. What’s mine is my blog’s is yours. Also, I’m kind of shaky/overworked right now but I met the scary deadlines, I think. I say “I think” because sometimes turning in a story is like kicking a wayward child out of the nest—a lot of work and yet you know he’s likely to return with a few STDs or knocked up with editor’s notes. Oh, also I should say that I think maybe I was confusing in my post about going to LA. I went there to interview other people. One for Page Six Magazine and one for Maxim magazine. Not job interviews, except actually they are job interviews, just not for jobs. Did that make sense? Nothing makes sense anymore I’m so tired. I went to rest my head against the wall and because I’m retarded I “rested” my head too quickly and kind of bounced my head off the wall. It was refreshingly painful really. Like a breath of fresh head trauma. Like a concussive blast of nerve endings. Okay, here’s the video. I’m longwinded when my brain is pushing on my skull.

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Career highlight ahead

I’m going to be contributing to three shows on the Soap Opera Network. Soap Opera Channel? I forget, but given Tobey’s affinity for All My Children, you can imagine how exciting this is! Also, I’m manning one half of the debate column in Page Six Magazine this Sunday so be sure to pick it up if you’re in the city or nearby environs. I’ll be squaring off with (squaring off against? how exactly does one “square”?) another notorious commentator—whose last name is my first name—and there will be little tiny pictures of both of us. Tiny pictures!

Finally, four people have looked at me like I’m insane tonight because of my insistence that it’s common knowledge, at least on television, that if you receive a suspicious package you put it in the shower. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Yes, okay yes, fine, my understanding of this is largely informed by the episode of Facts of Life where Tootie is obsessed with Jermaine Jackson but I’m pretty sure this can’t be the only place I’ve encountered it. Thoughts?

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