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Archive | old ARIYNBF

Oh hi.

Oh hi! Happy New Year! I’m quite overdue in posting all about the surgery experience and the way anesthesia was less like a light switch being turned off and on and more like a power outage followed by the clock blinking 12:00. Or maybe a lightning storm. Also, I think it’s weird there’s music played in the OR. Also, I have other things to say. But the good news is there wasn’t any cancer and they were able to save both ovaries and everything that went into my IV hurt like a motherfucker. That wasn’t the good news, it was just something I wanted to add. Specifically the last thing they gave me before I was knocked out, which I’m thinking must have been propofol. All I remember is they put a mask on me and said it was oxygen and then I ripped the mask off and began coughing and they said to someone else, “That’s normal,” and then I felt an intense burning in my hand, like so bad I honestly thought to myself, “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle this,” and then I was out. If in fact someone was giving me a hot hand then I think that is poor judgment in the OR. I would be more ok with a dutch oven.

Um, but anyway, I will write a long post with more details. I did talk about some of it on The Adam Carolla Show last night.

In the meantime if you would like to hear some shows hosted by yours truly (that’s me) then I suggest these: In this one I interviewed Christopher Johns, the guy who witnessed (and had a bizarre role in) the Hollywood shooting and also I talked to Larry Miller about chicken. And sex. And other stuff. To be perfectly honest I had mixed feelings about my own performance on this one, as I was recording it, and so I haven’t listened to it yet. And then in this one Lynette and I talked about dating stuff and took your calls and I accidentally hung up on some people as they were saying goodbye. And before they were saying goodbye.

Ok then!

Also I can’t stop watching this baby bat and this baby polar bear.

Also I received some bad news (nothing medical!)  last night and in the Vicodin haze I just had a sense that it was something I would be upset about if I were able to feel upset however I regained ability in the middle of the night so yay. Now I’m upset.

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In case you need to listen to me

Oh hi! I’ve been on some recent podcasts and I think you should listen to them if you enjoy things like that. One of them is Paul Gilmartin’s Mental Illness Happy Hour. I’m a big fan of his podcast and it was an honor to be asked to be a guest and I’m not even full of shit even though people who are full of shit say things like that all the time. And I was worried that I sounded inarticulate or overly something or other but I’ve received some very nice emails so thank you all very much.

But wait, then Paul Gilmartin was a guest on a podcast I hosted with the lovely Lynette Carolla! How’s that for synergy? Also, what does synergy mean? I don’t really want to know. At one point I knew but now I forget. This is not unlike a lot of theories and words I learned in college which I think I understood at the time but now I have no idea about. As opposed to say, calculus, which I struggled through at the time but suspect I might have an easier time with now. Or physics, which I never took in college but also think I might be able to understand now. I have no good reason to think I could understand these things now though, and it’s been a long time since I’ve done any kind of science or math, so I’m just going to change the subject now. Anyway, the podcast is going to change names and I’m kind of thinking of going with Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend which was the name of my Ustream show awhile ago but seems good as far as names go and people seem pretty into me naming it that. Should I?

And here I am talking about a rectal exam:

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Let's talk about freezers

See what I mean?

While rummaging around my boyfriend’s freezer (for the body parts) I came across something which instantly brought me back to when I had my own freezer and lived like a true adult—a freezer having adult—as opposed to the lives-at-home-overgrown-baby-woman-child situation I now proudly find myself in. (But not for long, I just turned in an application on an apartment!) Anyway, what I came across which brought me back to my own days as a young man was this: a fuckload of ice trays. How does this happen? How is it that you either only have zero ice trays or 11? And that’s not even counting novelty seasonal ice cube trays of which I’ve had my share. Please share your theories in the comments. It’s time to get to the bottom of the tray hoarding. (For ARIYNBF fans, this is kind of a “Just Me Or Everyone?”)

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Special pre-Valentine's ARIYNBF on Sunday at 1pm

On Sunday at 1pm PT I will do a special pre-Valentine’s day ARIYNBF where I will mend your broken hearts or break your mended hearts and take your calls and talk about best and worst Valentine’s Day or maybe just Facts of Life and Family Ties. It could go either way.

Regardless, I’d like to know how you knew your significant other was “the one” (if you have a significant other) and I’ll read some brief responses on the show. So let me know in the comments, won’t you?

I love you.

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A note to the ARIYNBF viewers

Hi Everyone! I won’t be able to do a new ARIYNBF show on Sunday because of a scheduling conflict (essentially what’s happening is I’m going to need to find a new time slot for ARIYNBF) but if you’re in withdrawal from a lack of me on Ustream (SAY YOU ARE, DAMMIT!) I have good news.

Here it is.

Here goes.

Get ready.

Not that ready. Jesus, have some pride.

On Monday, Jan 31 at 8pm PST The Adam Carolla Show which is where I now appear will be streaming live (David Alan Grier is the guest!) and you can watch the whole show in real time for free. It’s a free sneak preview. Yay! And you can chat just like you would when watching my show! And I bet my parents will drop into the chat room!

So please watch because I will feel better knowing you guys are there even if I can’t do any pencil dancing or wear giant sunglasses or dance to Trappdog’s songs. (I will be doing all of these in my mind of course.)

Here’s where you can go to watch and right now there’s a looping video with photos of guests and promo videos featuring Adam and me and Bald Bryan. It’s pretty delightful if I do say so myself, which I just did.


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Recent episodes of The Adam Carolla Show

So I think I’m a little overdue in posting some of the recent episodes of The Adam Carolla Show that I’ve been on. I posted them on twitter and facebook but not here. Also right now I’m sitting in a room and the sun is coming through the window and blinding me. Stupid sunshine. I can see why no one wants to live in California.

Okay seriously, I need some kind of eye protection. Why hasn’t anyone invented that? If this entertainment thing doesn’t work out I’m going to invent something to wear on your eyes to shield them from the sun. I’ll call them… Sun Goggles and I’ll probably become some kind of millionaire.

On the most recent episode we chatted about the Golden Globes and then I could barely get out a story about a cat called to jury duty without laughing which has pretty much never happened to me on air or on TV. Maybe I’ve felt it nearly happen once on Red Eye (but not while I was talking) and possibly on my own Ustream show but not like last night where I really wondered if I was going to be able to finish the story. And then later Lemmy dropped by and we broke up. And also I worried that I talked too much on the show which is an ongoing concern I have… trying to find the right balance. I once had a dream years ago that everyone was telling me I was too loud. Sometimes I feel like I need to turn my personality down. But then sometimes I feel like I need to turn it up. I sound like a shampoo commercial.

And then on Friday’s show Eugene Mirman dropped by and we all played Hobo Power and I nearly puked. Also Adam questioned me about my dating life and what I’m looking for in a guy and as I later explained on Sunday’s Ustream show I was surprised at how inarticulate I sounded when answering the questions which I think was a result of not having really thought about these things in awhile, for better or worse. What I didn’t explain, but what you all who reguarly read my blog and follow me know is that I moved back to CA under family crisis type circumstances and so dating has been low on my list. Then again, that doesn’t really explain why dating was low on my list while I was living in New York also. Maybe I’m dead inside?

We also talked about honeybuns, abortion, how wrestler Jacob Volkman regrets his comments about wanting to take on Obama, Shirley Phelps-Roper being a media whore, [side note: if you want to see something awesome, check out this clip of Julie Banderas confronting Phelps-Roper], and… uh oh… now I’m forgetting which day we did which story. Well I’m leaving out quite a few stories but we also discussed OK Cupid, Jared Laughner (a lot of Laughner talk), laws prohibiting protesting funerals, the surge in gun sales in the wake of the Arizona spree, crazy stuff Laughner posted in online gaming forums, Conan, Leno and Letterman and more.

And then on Thursday’s show Harry Hamlin dropped by and now I’ll never think of the term friendly fire in the same way. We also talked about an uptick in dine and dashing and Camille Grammer on Stern suggesting Kelsey likes to cross dress and more.

And on Wednesday Larry Miller came on the show and we talked about cults and paprika and Snoopy’s brother. We also played hypothetical road trip which I’m extremely good at. Beginner’s luck? Hardly.

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Today’s ARIYNBF is starting at 3:30pm PST instead of 4:30pm PST because I like to catch you off guard. For new people, first of all: Hi!!!! Second of all: Hey!!!! Third of all: Nice pants!!!!! Fourth of all: go to at 3:30pm PST today and you can watch the show live and also chat in the chat room which you will need to get a username to do. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory once you’re there.

Should you find yourself falling in love with my show and wanting to always know when it’s  happening, follow and also  You can buy a tshirt on the facebook page from the “shop now” tab at the top. Also join my crowd on Ustream because it’s just good thinking!

Also, there are some chat room rules which essentially boil down to don’t use all caps and don’t be a dick and watch your language.

If you want to read more about the music on the show, Tom Rapp, who writes and performs it has started blogging about it. There are lots of videos and things over there too. And subscribe to my  youtube channel!

Want to see some photos from the show?

I’ve inundated you, haven’t I? I knew it.

Also if you want to leave a message that I may play on the show call this number and include your name and a question if you have one! (480) 442-5476

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Site: Todd Jackson | Art Direction: Josh Holtsclaw | Original Logo: Kezilla | Show Music: Tom Rapp