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Archive | Facts of Life

One more photo, I'm neurotic, my dad on Twitter, George Clooney

photo by Eric Fischer

Okay so there’s one more photo. Actually there are a lot more, like a zillion more, but there’s one  more (above) that I should probably include with the others I posted last night however I have this weird hangup about the right side of my face—I think the left side is more attractive. Unfortunately I didn’t quite realize how strongly I felt about this, in fact I thought maybe it was something I could get over, but now I realize it’s not a fleeting neurosis, it’s a permanent one. This must be how Phantom of the Opera felt!

Perhaps you are thinking, “But many of these photos are taken from the right side,” and yes, this is true, however what I don’t like seeing from that angle is on display more so in the above photo than the others, and  yet I also recognize it’s a good photo. Sort of like if you have a shirt which is orange and it’s a perfectly good shirt and you just happen not to like orange.

Sometimes I feel like the world is full of fun house mirrors because the truth is I don’t really know what I look like. My own sense of my looks is very wiggly, and yes I realize wiggly is not exactly the word I’m going for. The first time I ever saw myself on TV I was enormously relieved because I really liked the way I looked—as in I felt I looked a million times more normal than I feared I might—because I think I had this hidden fear that I looked freakish. I realize these feelings aren’t quite in accordance with reality, but they’re stronger and deeper than the visual cues which, like I’m saying, are wiggly. And I’ve always said that if I hadn’t like how I looked on TV that first time I probably wouldn’t have wanted to continue doing it. The handful of times I’ve  been unhappy with TV appearances are so unpleasant that if that was the norm–if going on TV was a hardship or something I had to really psych myself up for—like having surgery or going to Kinko’s, say—I’d never put myself through it. Instead it’s validating, which I realize suggests some deep schism or emptiness inside me which is setting me up for never feeling contented later in life, but I’d argue that everyone who puts him or herself in the public eye to a degree is dealing with some combination of these feelings deep inside.

I should add though that I don’t think about this stuff all the time—when I do my Ustream show I often do it without makeup and I trust that I’ll look fine and how I look isn’t really the point anyway. It’s more like all the above feelings are in me somewhere and periodically they flare up.

Also, thank you for all your comments last night! Something weird is happening with the blog where when you click on the permalinks for the photos posts (as opposed to viewing them from the URL) all the photos aren’t showing up so I just want to make sure when you indicated which ones you liked  you were seeing all of them. There should have been 11 photos in all (6 in the red sweater and 5 in the black shirt).

Let me know if this changes anything!

And yes I realize there is a world outside of me and my face however I’ve spent some time in it and frankly: not that impressed.

Oh and in other news, I’m going to get my dad on Twitter! Should he be JohnRosen, PapaRosen, AlisonsDad or something else?

Oh and also also, I watched Up In The Air last night. I liked it! And then I was thinking that for most people it’s probably this weird bit of trivia that George Clooney was in Facts of Life however for me, since I’m freakishly well acquainted with FOL, when I see him onscreen I just think, “Well, good for George The Handyman!”

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Facts of Life Christmas plus some info about cheese

I’ve been occasionally listening to channel 633 on my cable box which is Sounds of the Season which mostly leaves me feeling jolly but also frustrated by the ease with which people refer to Rudolph as Rudy. He’s  just not a Rudy to me, you know? He’s barely a Rudolph. He looks like a Todd. Anyway, when not getting overly familiar with said reindeer, the channel sometimes plays “We Need a Little Christmas” which is cool and all, but the official version just is nowhere near as awesome as the Facts of Life version, and I realize I’m probably the lone person in the world who feels this way and do I even feel it or am I being ironic? Or worse, ironical? God, I don’t even know anymore. I don’t think so?

I do genuinely love this while also recognizing and one might say celebrating its cheese. Maybe *I* am cheese? But if so what type? Have I told you about my sister and my cheese game? It’s called Cow, Sheep or Goat and the way you play is you say a cheese and then have to guess what kind of milk it’s made with. The problem is that soon you’ll realize you actually have no idea what kind of milk most cheeses are (cheese is?) made with beyond the obvious unless you happen to have spent copious amounts of time in a dank cave in France doing untoward things with curds. If so, please be on my team next time we play the game. In the meantime, enjoy the hunk of gouda below.

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Hello blog readers

Just wanted to say that I have not forsaken you! I love you more than I love Facts of Life which is pretty much the most I can possibly love anything. It just hasn’t been a bloggy day. Actually, I have a blockage of blogs which is what happens sometimes. There are about three long posts clogging the blog flume. You know? Anyway, just didn’t want you to think you weren’t first and foremost in my thoughts.

My thoughts:

1. You
2. it’s kind of hot in here
3. I’m sleepy
4. iMovie is frustrating me
5. am I entertained by Russell Brand?
6. Blogger seems buggy right now
7. I’m closing in on 2000 followers on Twitter. Yay for me!
8. I need a haircut
9. Maybe I should watch M.A.S.H.? I went through M.A.S.H. phase around the holidays.
10. Times were simpler then
11. Why are capers called nonpareils?

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Career highlight ahead

I’m going to be contributing to three shows on the Soap Opera Network. Soap Opera Channel? I forget, but given Tobey’s affinity for All My Children, you can imagine how exciting this is! Also, I’m manning one half of the debate column in Page Six Magazine this Sunday so be sure to pick it up if you’re in the city or nearby environs. I’ll be squaring off with (squaring off against? how exactly does one “square”?) another notorious commentator—whose last name is my first name—and there will be little tiny pictures of both of us. Tiny pictures!

Finally, four people have looked at me like I’m insane tonight because of my insistence that it’s common knowledge, at least on television, that if you receive a suspicious package you put it in the shower. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Yes, okay yes, fine, my understanding of this is largely informed by the episode of Facts of Life where Tootie is obsessed with Jermaine Jackson but I’m pretty sure this can’t be the only place I’ve encountered it. Thoughts?

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