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Archive | did I mention I was in a band?

Exciting news; static cling; clarification

Teresa Strasser, Adam Carolla, me

So much to tell. First of all, yes, I am the new news girl on the Adam Carolla Show. I got the word over the weekend but it was a secret which is why I didn’t do my own show on Sunday. I debated and while I knew I would be able to pretend not yet to know I just didn’t delight in the idea of having to lie to my viewers who would be asking if I knew yet, and so I did the next best thing: went sweater shopping.

How’d it go? Fuckloads of static cling is how it went. And then I had that moment of pulling off a sweater and hearing the crackle and looking in the mirror and seeing my hair look like this

and knowing I was in for a painful shock the next time I touched anything metal.

But back to more pressing matters. I’d like to just take this moment to clarify two things no one has really landed upon yet. They both involve today’s podcast.

The moment where we’re talking about my old band and Adam asks the name and I say The Angoras and he says “There’s a sheep and a rabbit?”and then I say, as if I’m some kind of moron, “On my amp?” What I was referring to was our singer’s practice of draping our amps and hardware with plastic animal figurines or stuffed animals when we played live. During the podcast recording we were staring at a photo of me playing live in the band which the producers dug up and there was a pony on my amp, hence my confusion.

And another note about that photo. It was taken in 98 or 99 and I was carrying around a good 30 more pounds, apparently in my legs. Not that it’s important that I issue this disclaimer but I’d just like to start our relationship (the one where I overexplain stuff) on the right shallow foot.

And also, I’m not loving the way my dress looks in the photo of me, Teresa and Adam. Ok done!

Wait, one more thing: You should read Teresa and Adam’s books. I read both and loved them.

Oh wait, another thing I want to make clear. During the audition process I referred to myself as a “polyglot” when discussing my practice of counting to twenty in French and Spanish while I’m at the gym on the treadmill. I was joking! I was not actually bragging about my ability to count to twenty in foreign languages as much as making fun of the idea that that would be something to tout. Did that make sense? I didn’t think so.

Ok, see you guys every day!

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Stuff that happened yesterday

Yesterday I got a call from Yami as I was in the middle of all this, saying she had a surprise for me and I needed to come over right away. I’m not really a come over right away kind of person but then she put the surprise on the phone and it was Paula, the singer of the band we used to be in who now lives in Seattle. She was at Yami’s house! Because these ladies think it takes me five hours to get ready, they told me I couldn’t take a shower or do my hair or put on makeup or even put anything in my purse that wasn’t already there, I just had to come over with whatever was already in my purse. It’s a good think I had an overnight bag in my purse or else I never would have made it there within three hours. (Not really, I made it there within the hour which even I was shocked by.) New York has done something to my ability to be punctual. I don’t really know why or how, and Koryn might disagree, but sometimes I’m actually on time.

Speaking of on time, I hope you’ll all tune in to my show today featuring Yami and Dustin! We’ll be calling Paula on the phone!

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Video from when I played in a band on The Daily Alison

A bunch of you have been asking to see video from when I played in The Angoras so here you go. A few songs from a show we played at The Garage in Hollywood in 2001. I’m playing the sparkly silver Gretsch. Paula is in the middle and Yami is on bass. Tim was on drums. Paula and Tim still play music in bands. All three of my former band mates have been on my show. I miss them.

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even MORE photos

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Here’s my friend Yami and me on July 4.

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Here’s Mike and me on July 4.

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Here’s Mike pretending to be passed out on the sidewalk while Brian takes a photo of him. (This is an ongoing photo series.)IMG00739

Here’s Bret playing a rusty trombone. (Get it?)

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Here’s me wearing a hat and glasses because when I see hats and glasses I have to put them on.

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Here’s me at the beach looking like I totally belong.

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Here’s my friend Brian wearing a stylish sweater.

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Here’s the Nagel poster that Mike hung on the outside of his recording studio.

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And here’s the Nagel when Mike and Brian attempted to set it on fire with firecrackers. I tried to stay inside but they made me come out and take a photo. (This whole adventure is recounted in this episode of The Daily Alison.)

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The Daily Alison (Day 15; Wherein I do stuff and then talk to Paula)

So I had to edit out a few seconds from the beginning and end of this and then I had to cut out 8 seconds where the phone is ringing. I hope the slick production isn’t distracting. I also hope YouTube chokes on a sock for making me edit to fit their time parameters. Yeah that’s right. A sock. Chokes on a sock. I said it and I’ll say it again.

Anywhoozies, today I talked to Paula the former frontwoman of the band I played in and the current frontwoman of The Heels. Check them out here.

In other news, Hannity called today to see if I wanted to come on the panel. I was half expecting them to ask if I could come on tonight since I get a fair amount of last minute calls to do live TV but instead they want to know if I can come on in August. I’m sorry, that’s when I summer in a coconut, I explained. It’s a large coconut that sleeps 12 though the most we’ve ever had in there at one time was 8. Also, I’ve never had this much advance notice for anything. I’m probs going to have to get my shoes dyed to match for the occasion!

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Posts in a blanket

Hello my little cocktail weenies. How goes it? Wait, I’m not sure I want to address you as cocktail weenies. Hello my little water crackers? Clearly I’m working in the realm of hors d’oevres right now. And while we’re talking about that I got into a little debate with one Doug Benson last week because I insisted that pigs in a blanket are cocktail weenies in puff pastry and he claimed they’re sausages in pancakes and then said it was a regional thing however I’m from the same region he is so don’t be pulling any Best Foods/ Hellman’s shit on me, you know? I mean just don’t. Just take that shit you are about to  pull and just stop pulling. I insist. Anyway it was kind of a backburner sort of debate until I pushed it into a big thing because that’s what I do for fun and I recall various other people being drawn into the debate in the bowels of Caroline’s which looks like the bowels of any other big club I’ll have you know. Specifically it looks like the bowels of the House of Blues in Anaheim, CA where my band played a few times. Oh, did I mention I was in a band and that I know famous people? Allow me to get that out of the way a bunch of times.

Anyway, it was decided that pigs in a blanket are sausages in pancakes in the morning on breakfast menus and cocktail weenies in puff pastry later in the day. Should you be holding an actual pig and you put it in a blanket then not only are you thoughtful (i.e. you don’t want the pig to get cold!) but that sounds adorable and I’d like to see it. If it’s a piglet, so much the better.

So where was I before dropping names and celebrating myself? Oh yes. I was saying hi.

Wait, back to the adorable piglet in a blanket. How cute would that be? I mean, that would be very Charlotte’s Web cute.

But just wanted to say hi because I feel like I’ve been doing vlogs so much that I haven’t really posted text wise. So here I am. Things are good. I’m tired. Um…

Wow, this is awkward. I mean, I figured it might be a little stilted but not this and you just sitting there doing that thing you do is not helping matters. Oh don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean. That thing. No, not that one, the other one. Yeah, that’s the one. There you go again. I could just choke right now I could.

Oh and also! I’ll be on Paltalk tomorrow at 11am ET with Diana Falzone. Show up in the chatroom, won’t you?  Here’s a link. http://blog.paltalk.com/paltalkshows/advice/the-diana-falzone-show/

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