I’ve put some things in my mouth today and it hasn’t gone well. First I made a salad with a bag of triple-washed lettuce only I think some other bag was probably washed six times and mine none because I found a bug in my salad and later a clump of dirt. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit the time between the bug and the dirt as it reveals that I picked the bug out and kept eating as opposed to shrieking, throwing the lettuce in the air and jumping up onto the couch as would be girly, however I’m not going to let a bug keep me from food. I am, however, going to let a mouthful of dirt keep me from food. GROSS I said, spitting out gritty mud chunks and throwing out the compromised lettuce. So then I put a Lean Cuisine dinner in the microwave—steak tips portobello which is 160 calories and always cracks me up because I imagine someone going for a manicure and asking for steak tips on their nails! HA!—and the gravy-esque sauce got all over the interior of the microwave because some loser (pssst…. it was me!) didn’t properly vent the film on top of the tray. What a bunch of bullshit!
The universe is trying to tell me that I need a personal chef, clearly.
Oh and one more thing about the trouble with putting stuff in my mouth: I dropped two blobs of the frozen dinner on myself. One on my fashionable sweatpants and one on my stylish t-shirt. Now I look fantastic but I smell like gravy! Or something which approximates gravy! Gravo!
In other news, big Ustream show on Wednesday! A producer for The Daily Show will trim my hair while I freak out. If you want to read up on how this came to be, I explain it in this post, beginning under the pic of Pat Kiernan.
Your Lean Cuisine Steak Tips Portobello could be 192 instead of 160 calories according this news article.
Ugh. It's a good thing I didn't really like the frozen entrees.
Maggots in Your Mushrooms
Your Lean Cuisine Steak Tips Portobello could be 192 instead of 160 calories according this news article.
Ugh. It’s a good thing I didn’t really like the frozen entrees.
First of all, I love women who smell like gravy. Second, bugs have a lot of protein and are good for you. The bug you saw is probably a delicacy in many third world countries — none of which I ever plan to visit. Third, I'm religious about properly venting my meals. Did it really explode on you? I gotta try that!!
I attempted to RSVP your broadcast last night and again this morning. I don't think it's working. But since 190 other people were able to do it, I must be doing something wrong. I never was very good at clicking on things that say “Click Here”.
First of all, I love women who smell like gravy. Second, bugs have a lot of protein and are good for you. The bug you saw is probably a delicacy in many third world countries — none of which I ever plan to visit. Third, I’m religious about properly venting my meals. Did it really explode on you? I gotta try that!!
For more fun with exploding food, watch this video starting at 4:00: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azHzE-5cO3A
I attempted to RSVP your broadcast last night and again this morning. I don’t think it’s working. But since 190 other people were able to do it, I must be doing something wrong. I never was very good at clicking on things that say “Click Here”.
Alison!! I really think you should look at this video to get some ideas for your new haircut. This way the Daily Show guy doesn't mess up when he cuts your hair…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wtbwm_KKMag
There are a lot of styles there that would look fabulous on you!
Alison!! I really think you should look at this video to get some ideas for your new haircut. This way the Daily Show guy doesn’t mess up when he cuts your hair…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wtbwm_KKMag
There are a lot of styles there that would look fabulous on you!
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”
“Prior to getting a haircut viewed publicly, you should ask Geraldo for some advice following a similar stunt with his beard……..”