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I love Christmas

I love Christmas and the only thing I love more than Christmas is nothing.  I’m happy to report that I just had my first fullblown holidaygasm of the season while standing in the kitchen thinking about Muppet Christmas Carol and cracking eggs into a bowl so I could make meringues which seems like a holidayish activity though I do it year round. Granted holidaygasm is a pretty crude term for what I mean—that visceral fluttering childlike excitement that comes from contemplating the impending season. I used to have the same feeling when I’d see the spinning “Special” letters on TV back in the old days when the world was simpler and I didn’t have this deadline hanging over me.

Oh, did I not mention? Yes, I have a deadline looming which means that everything I’m doing short of actually working on said project is both procrasturbatory (note: I didn’t invent this term) and beside the point. A quick inventory of the things I’ve done today which are beside the point? Wait, no! I will not! I will not spend time making a list when I could instead tell you that before repairing to the kitchen to think about Christmas I got up from my computer with a strange feeling of writerly satisfaction as if I’d actually accomplished something and yet I knew I hadn’t. And then I realized it’s because I was proud of a tweet. It’s upsetting on many levels.

But back to Christmas, I was standing there feeling overwhelmed and all woe is me ish and then I started thinking about how from  here to New Year’s is pretty awesome and filled with twinkling lights and carols and holiday cookies with sparkling bits of colored sugar on them and holiday parties with eggnog and going to California and seeing my California friends and going to the mall where it’s all holidayish and everyone is pissed and angry and the lines are insanely long and you can’t find parking. I love that!

January soon begins to suck though because not only is it another 12 months till Christmas again but some kind of mischievous Christmas elves snuck into your closet while you were sleeping and replaced your jeans with ones that look identical—even down to that frosting stain—but are actually a couple sizes smaller. I’m probably going to have to start putting a lock on my closet. And then maybe I’ll even put my clothes in my closet instead of crumpled in a heap on an array of available surfaces. Sometimes I like to fling a garment so it creates something I refer to as a “clothing bridge” in that part of the item is on my bed and part of it is resting on a nearby table. It’s not a beginner move but I’ve been at this for a long time.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ok, back to work.

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17 Responses to I love Christmas

  1. TrappDog October 19, 2009 at 12:34 pm #

    This is a great piece. If I had money, I'd give it to you. I hope you color the meringues for Christmas?

  2. TrappDog October 19, 2009 at 11:34 am #

    This is a great piece. If I had money, I’d give it to you. I hope you color the meringues for Christmas?

  3. Thomas Wigington October 19, 2009 at 4:14 pm #

    You can do it. You can meet that deadline — I guess? Right???

  4. Anonymous October 19, 2009 at 5:50 pm #

    “Christmas is the most beautiful time of the year. But between me and the holiday season are annoying kids and weirdos in costumes and school plays about pilgrims w/o the violence of course …..”

  5. Thomas Wigington October 19, 2009 at 3:14 pm #

    You can do it. You can meet that deadline — I guess? Right???

  6. Anonymous October 19, 2009 at 4:50 pm #

    “Christmas is the most beautiful time of the year. But between me and the holiday season are annoying kids and weirdos in costumes and school plays about pilgrims w/o the violence of course …..”

  7. Ted_Goodlove October 19, 2009 at 8:19 pm #

    Ummm, there is one more reason to love Christmas….as I've stated before but it's never been recognized….Christmas day is my birthday! So Jesus and Ted were born on the same day….how cool is that!

  8. alisonrosen October 19, 2009 at 8:51 pm #

    If I get a tree this year I'm going to name it Ted.

  9. Ted_Goodlove October 19, 2009 at 9:07 pm #

    Me too!

  10. Ted_Goodlove October 19, 2009 at 7:19 pm #

    Ummm, there is one more reason to love Christmas….as I’ve stated before but it’s never been recognized….Christmas day is my birthday! So Jesus and Ted were born on the same day….how cool is that!

  11. Alison Rosen October 19, 2009 at 7:51 pm #

    If I get a tree this year I’m going to name it Ted.

  12. Ted_Goodlove October 19, 2009 at 8:07 pm #

    Me too!

  13. Thomas Wigington October 19, 2009 at 11:14 pm #

    You can do it. You can meet that deadline — I guess? Right???

  14. Anonymous October 20, 2009 at 12:50 am #

    “Christmas is the most beautiful time of the year. But between me and the holiday season are annoying kids and weirdos in costumes and school plays about pilgrims w/o the violence of course …..”

  15. Ted_Goodlove October 20, 2009 at 3:19 am #

    Ummm, there is one more reason to love Christmas….as I've stated before but it's never been recognized….Christmas day is my birthday! So Jesus and Ted were born on the same day….how cool is that!

  16. alisonrosen October 20, 2009 at 3:51 am #

    If I get a tree this year I'm going to name it Ted.

  17. Ted_Goodlove October 20, 2009 at 4:07 am #

    Me too!

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