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"If we had lives, what might we be doing?"

It’s almost like in posing this question Dustin was suggesting we DON’T have fascinating fabulous lives. I can’t speak for him. He’s a sad man who loves oatmeal*, a sad man who loves oatmeal who’s also out of town so I don’t think he’s going to see this for a little while, hence I can refer to him as a sad man who loves oatmeal when perhaps that’s not fair, but I am very fabulous and fascinating and I’m currently living three lives that’s how many lives I’ve packed into my one life. You know?

*Oh my motherfucking fuck I just spent one whole lifetime trying to find the myriad blog entries I’d written on the Time Out New York blog about Dustin and his oatmeal when we both worked at there, including a bit of genius when he cheated on his oatmeal with a box of poptarts (I believe it was titled “Who Cries For The Oatmeal?”) but for the life of me I can’t find them. I can’t even find the blog.

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0 Responses to "If we had lives, what might we be doing?"

  1. Advanced Prototype 2.0 February 15, 2009 at 12:18 pm #

    Did you just say “Just ballin'” at the 1:46 mark?

  2. Toddrod February 15, 2009 at 2:01 pm #

    Yes she did Prototype (hey you have a different name now?)…. she’s so bad.. so very very bad! I think she said “ballin'” on accident, because it seemed like her face looked like she had instant remorse for saying that particular word! That sorta makes up for all the naughtiness in her writing.

    By the way, has anyone noticed that Alison rarely curses on vlogs, but will say the most vulgar things when she writes? Fascinating.

  3. Joe February 15, 2009 at 4:24 pm #

    I loved this video because I come here just for the profanity.

    If I had a life, Nina and I would be flying to Saint-Tropez on the French Riviera for an extended holiday.

    According to Wikipedia, the name Saint-Tropez “derives from that of an early, semi-legendary martyr named Saint Torpes. His legend states that he was beheaded at Pisa during the reign of Nero, and that his body was placed in a rotten boat with a rooster and a dog. The body landed at the present-day location of the town.”

    Sigh… if only my life were so exciting.[

  4. Advanced Prototype 2.0 February 15, 2009 at 11:53 pm #

    Toddrod – Yeah, I got upgraded. Only a matter of time before I become complete and come off the assembly line. But you and everyone else can still refer to me as Prototype. Prototype is still Prototype. I had no idea Alison had it in her to say “ballin'” – that caught me off my surprise. I like it! Keep it up Alison! You’re appealing and connecting more to the urban audience. I think she is starting to curse more in her vlogs, which I fully endorse! And keep surprising us with words we wouldn’t expect you to say!

    You got 3 of your peeps supporting your profanity, Alison! Hint! Hint!

    = +5 points to Alison for branching out in her vocabulary and catching peeps off guard.

  5. Brett Jones February 16, 2009 at 1:36 pm #

    I’ve come to enjoy Dustin’s delivery in these vlogs and he’s usually Johnny on the spot with the word play, but he totally missed out on all that could have been at the end with the “Banging on my pipes” line.

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