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My bite has been damned with faint praise

Reblogged from The Activity Pit:

Alison’s Beauty Secrets

Whatever the occasion, Alison always manages to look her best despite living a busy cosmopolitan lifestyle. How does she do it? Blessed with natural beauty, are there other steps she takes to enhance her appearance?

Below is an analysis revealing Alison’s beauty secrets.


Look, Spaceagent, if that’s your real fake name, I suffered 4 years of braces and the best you can say is that I have “normal” jaw occlusion? You WISH you occluded so well.

(I’m kidding. I’m flattered that you think I have no open sores.)

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14 Responses to My bite has been damned with faint praise

  1. Joe March 31, 2008 at 4:34 pm #

    Wow … what a loser that Spaceagent guy is. Wouldn’t wanna be him.

    I happen to think your jaw occlusion is adorable, Alison. I LIVE for your jaw occlusion.

    I must say, though, he nailed your perfect posture. I’ve never ever seen you slouch.

  2. Mr. Ricardo March 31, 2008 at 6:26 pm #

    I have to say it looks painful with all those white needles poking your face. I’m amazed you’re even smiling at all. Is it time for my meds yet?

  3. Anonymous March 31, 2008 at 9:39 pm #

    Quote of the beauty praise:

    ” An to infiniteee and beeeyond….”

    -SPACEAGENT GUY

  4. Ted from Accounting March 31, 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    Yes, Now I realize it isn’t Alison’s mind I’m attracted to but rather that elongated neck!

    For those wondering…occlusion refers to the manner in which the teeth from upper and lower arches come together when the mouth is closed.

    Hey where the heck is our blog elder Michael?

  5. Amanda April 1, 2008 at 12:03 am #

    I always get excited when you’re a guest star on Red Eye, in fact I usually pause (thanks be to heaven for DVR) and go to the bathroom to ensure that I don’t wet myself from laughing.

  6. Anonymous April 1, 2008 at 3:29 am #

    Yo, post a picture of you with braces! That’s kinda a fetish I sorta have, maybe. Please?

    Toddrod

  7. Joe April 1, 2008 at 4:07 am #

    I predict jaw occlusion correction will soon overtake boob jobs as the #1 cosmetic procedure in the U.S. What good are perfect breasts if you have an embarrassing overbite?

    And since Alison has perfect occlusion, she will be the one everyone else models themselves after. Good-bye Scarlett Johansson and Heidi Klum – hello Alison Rosen!

  8. Anonymous April 1, 2008 at 9:07 am #

    Speaking of The Activity Pit. I was thinking to myself, If I were a member there, which by the way I never will be, I wonder what tracks I would have on my track list. And of course a whole flood of tracks rushed through my head. But here is the beauty of it. I can post my tracks here and change them at will without all the hustle and bustle. So here’s my list, and it is subject to change at any moment in time.

    01. Say What you Say. Dr. Dre/Eminem.

    02. Kiss an Angel Good Morning. Charlie Pride.

    03. Hair of the Dog. Nazareth.

    04. The Whisper Song. Ying Yang Twins.

    05. Rooster. Alice n’ Chains.

    Michael.
    La.

  9. Anonymous April 1, 2008 at 9:21 am #

    Also, if I were to start a discussion. It would be, and this may have been done already, I honestly don’t know. What is your favorite movie line?
    I have many, but I would start it off by saying it is, “Guilt, it’s like a ton of bricks, all you have to do is set it down.” From the movie, “Devil’s Advocate.”

    Michael.
    La.

  10. Anonymous April 1, 2008 at 9:57 am #

    Okay, enough about me already. I was looking at the “break-down” of Alison’s beauty chart. The first thing that went through my head was, where is the part that describes her inner beauty? Exactly. It’s indescribable.

    Michael.
    La.

  11. Ted from Accounting April 1, 2008 at 10:13 am #

    Michael and his Southern charm! Why didn’t I think of that line?

  12. Jedi February 7, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    Haha, you don't have open sores?

  13. Jedi February 7, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    Haha, you don’t have open sores?

  14. Jedi February 7, 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    Haha, you don't have open sores?

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